Had any bizarre injuries?

Nunogilberto

Fractured my finger putting on my shoes once.

MtB

As a young teenager I needed to get to the back of the garage to find some spanners to fix my pushbike. The garage wasn't the widest - enough for one of the old 850 Minis with just enough space to the garage wall for a person to walk. Wedged in at the back of the garage, and along the side wall, was a large chest type deep freeze, and across the back of the garage wall a substantial wooden workbench, under which was were the tools were kept. There wasn't enough room between the Mini and
the freezer for a person to pass, so a bit of gymnastics were nothing unusual for by the young MtB to get to the toolbox - leap onto the front wing of the car and jump down into the space between the front of the car and the workbench. 

Spanners acquired, and wanting to quickly get back to the bike fixing, I leapt back up on to the wing of the Mini and jumped back down into space between the garage sidewall and the side of the Mini, only I slipped as I jumped, and fell awkwardly - skewering the top of my left leg (hip level) on the corner angle of the deep-freeze - putting an corner shaped hole about half an inch deep into my leg.

Ouch! 4 stitches thank you very much.      

octatonic

I actually have two facial scars and one on the top of my head.

The two on my face are from when I fell over as a four year old and cracked my head on the toilet.
The one on my head was from a cancer that was removed when I was five.

lasermonkey

I managed to shank myself in the thigh whilst trying to get something out of the bottom of a glass jar. The bloody great kitchen knife I was using pierced through the glass and into my leg. I bled like a stuck pig.

I also managed to cut my shin pretty badly in a skateboarding accident when I was maybe 15 years old. A friend and I decided that we would get a good amount of speed going down a hill and then veer into a leaf-filled ditch, which would break our fall. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, all went to plan. Got some speed up, veered onto the grass, Skateboard stopped dead, I didn't. Catapulted into ditch. Great fun!

As we were walking back up the hill for another go, I noticed that my left leg felt cold. I lifted my trouser leg to find two neat slits on my shin, both with a white centre. The white centre was my shin bone. I still feel somewhat queasy thinking about it!

suspiciousminds

When i was 9, on a rare occassion that i was allowed to sit in the front of our old Ford Corsair, we went round a corner straight into the back of a farmer reversing a small lorry down the same lane.
My head hit the dash as the windscreen shattered.
i had a straigh line of glass cuts across my forehead and my left eyelid was hanging off and needed sowing back on after all the glass was cleaned out of my eye.

LuttiS

When I was younger (much younger) I tripped over and got my head stuck in a plant pot. Seriously bruised a young ego... 

Also once tripped over my shoelace and broke my arm.. didn't help young ego either. 

viz

LuttiS said:

When I was younger (much younger) I tripped over and got my head stuck in a plant pot.

Lolled, not because I don’t have sympathy - it must have been awful - but because of the funny matter-of-fact way you put it

Dominic

Emp_Fab said:

I was once smoking a fag whilst on the toilet and, having finished said fag, flicked it between my legs for it go down the pan.
It made it only as far as the end of my trouser snake and, in a stroke of incredible luck, managed a bullseye right in the centre of the foreskin, where it stuck, burning end in.  I have never moved so fast in my life.

Stay Classy

DrBob

When I was 11/12 years old I was running up the stairs at my parents house, caught my little finger on my left hand on a bannister spindle, broke the little finger. Got to the top step had the “oh that doesn’t feel right” thought. Looked at my hand, little finger 90degrees out. 
Passed out and fell backwards down the stairs 

boogieman

suspiciousminds said:

When i was 9, on a rare occassion that i was allowed to sit in the front of our old Ford Corsair, we went round a corner straight into the back of a farmer reversing a small lorry down the same lane.
My head hit the dash as the windscreen shattered.
i had a straigh line of glass cuts across my forehead and my left eyelid was hanging off and needed sowing back on after all the glass was cleaned out of my eye.

My dad had just got a new Ford Anglia in 1964. He took his brother, me and my two cousins out in it. We were happily driving along when an MG hurtling down a steep hill smashed into us, head on. Dad’s car flipped over about a dozen times (I can still remember it, it was like being in a washing machine) and eventually landed on its roof on the other side of the road. My uncle had to kick out the rear window so we could all climb out because the doors were jammed shut.

 My cousins both walked away completely unscathed. I still have a small lump on my head to this day. My dad had a broken toe and a bruised rib. My uncle would have broken his arm, but he’d already busted it the week before and the cast he had on it just broke instead. The other driver and her passenger had been knocked unconscious but walked out of the hospital a couple of hours later. Somewhere there’s a photo of the carnage and it’s a complete mess. I’m amazed some of us didn’t die. 

axisus

When I was 5, back in the days of no seatbelts in the back of cars, we were driving back from somewhere and my dad turned a corner, the door swung open and I just rolled out into the road. When I look back, there were many times I think they tried to get rid of me. 

Corvus

I was riding my motorbike home, a bus in front started to pull into the bus stop layby so I move out slightly to go around. But there was a car coming head on, across the road. I thought this is it, I'm going through that windscreen. Rammed the brakes on, then realised I was on the deck. Thinking I'm alive, how the fuck did I miss that one.

Then I realised I was in front of the bus. As it was moving I was soon underneath and now I'm looking at the tyre coming at me thinking that thing's going to get me, but I got one arm out & up the front of the bus. It halted.

As I pulled myself out from under it, I stood up right in front of the driver. The look on his face. We checked each other were OK, shook hands, he left. I went across the road and got a packet of tobacco and started smoking that day. Just sat there a while wondering how I'd got out of those two things. I rode home, neither me or the bike were much damaged.

When shit like this happens it's amazing how slow time seems to go, or how quick the brain cell can work when it needs to. I also hit a car once that pulled out, I can still remember what I was thinking and all the sounds before the smack and as I was rolling over the bonnet. (Got a neck compression break).
Side thing, I was clearing some paperwork out and found the stuff relating to that. Realised it was the exact date but twenty years on and almost to the hour of the accident. That fairly freaked me out, for no good reason, but still.

gubble

Tore my frenulum one evening with my ex.........

jonnygreentrees

Corvus said:

I was riding my motorbike home, a bus in front started to pull into the bus stop layby so I move out slightly to go around. But there was a car coming head on, across the road. I thought this is it, I'm going through that windscreen. Rammed the brakes on, then realised I was on the deck. Thinking I'm alive, how the fuck did I miss that one.

Then I realised I was in front of the bus. As it was moving I was soon underneath and now I'm looking at the tyre coming at me thinking that thing's going to get me, but I got one arm out & up the front of the bus. It halted.

As I pulled myself out from under it, I stood up right in front of the driver. The look on his face. We checked each other were OK, shook hands, he left. I went across the road and got a packet of tobacco and started smoking that day. Just sat there a while wondering how I'd got out of those two things. I rode home, neither me or the bike were much damaged.

When shit like this happens it's amazing how slow time seems to go, or how quick the brain cell can work when it needs to. I also hit a car once that pulled out, I can still remember what I was thinking and all the sounds before the smack and as I was rolling over the bonnet. (Got a neck compression break).
Side thing, I was clearing some paperwork out and found the stuff relating to that. Realised it was the exact date but twenty years on and almost to the hour of the accident. That fairly freaked me out, for no good reason, but still.

That's immensely lucky!

I'm confused by this though, how did you get an arm in front of the bus when you were under the bus? Are you stretch armstrong? 

Mark1960

I once stuck a pen knife into the inside joint of my left thumb whilst trying to open a pocket watch. The real problem is that a scar and hard skin grows there which gets painful as it presses on the back of my guitar neck. Once a month I have to file the hard skin off, which temperarily solves the problem.

Corvus

jonnygreentrees said:

 

That's immensely lucky!

I'm confused by this though, how did you get an arm in front of the bus when you were under the bus? Are you stretch armstrong? 

I was flat on the deck in front of the bus, the roadside 'corner' of it. Saw the wheel looming, stuck my arm out & up the front of the bus as it covered me over.

gubble

I've also slipped a disc whilst sneezing - that wasn't fun and resulted in a 3 years on a waiting list to have a discectomy......

Phil_aka_Pip

broke a front tooth chewing the inside of my lip. its why I have a very rock'n'roll gold crown

Dominic

Very HIP- HOP Gold Crown.......know what I mean Homie !                                                                     

lasermonkey

As I type this, I have a bit of wood poking out of the bottom of my foot, which happened whilst trying to flip my mattress. Trying not to feel queasy whilst I freeze it with an ice pack, ready for some DIY surgery.
Wish me luck!