Had any bizarre injuries?

skunkwerx

I sat on a toilet in the dark once. 

Thick bleach was still around the walls of it.. 

Japs eye made full on bingo marker blob contact. 

Pain. Jumped off the seat in reaction but... 
Couldn't hold the poop in apparently, so had to remain seated, reach over, grab the shower head and spray my old fella down whilst I went. 

Unsure what was more painful. The pain, or the mess!

scrumhalf

I broke a crown on a tooth chomping the end off a cigar.

I also managed to pull a muscle in the warm-up for a football match, scored after two minutes, limped off after five and saw my team concede a hatful.

axisus

octatonic said:

Sounds a tad clumsy!  I never operate fish fingers indoors, I even potter around with all the fish fingers in the fridge.
It is very rare for me to drop fish fingers at all, not even once a year. 

Ha ha, lol'd that!

equalsql

In my youth I once, whilst tidying up my workbench, picked up a soldering iron by its tip between my thumb and forefinger. Unfortunately I hadn't switched the damn thing off and took just a moment too long before I realised and smelt the burning flesh. Man that was sore!

Fuengi

Walking the dog on the mountain in Mijas, Spain. Stepped on a small, finger sized, L shaped branch. It flipped up and the other end went straight into my shin / calf. 

I had to break the branch off as I couldn't get it out. Back home yanked at it to no avail, and then a poor nights sleep trying to stop this two inches of pencil sized wood that was in my leg from catching on the sheets.

Found a doctor the next day in Fuengirola (hence the name), negotiated a price to remove the offending  piece of timber. £15 in Pesatas. Cash. Wry smiles.

I hopped (literally) on to the bed, his assistant held me down while he yanked away with various sized tweezers, occasionally looking up at me with increasing concern. 

After several minutes of this he put his tools down and fetched a syringe. It was going to cost more, but he need to cut it out and would give me a local. I lay there negotiating in Spanglish, bleeding. £20. Do it!! 

I still have the scar, and I now always avoid twigs when I walk in shorts. 

EricTheWeary

Nitefly said:

I dropped a caravan onto my big toe - lost the nail and got a compound fracture of the toe.

I got hit on the head by a caravan - stepped into a small one at a dealership and it hadn’t been set up on the steadies, I overbalanced the caravan and the door frame cracked me across the top of the head. 

Can I count being spat at in the face by a llama? No lasting injuries but it was incredibly disgusting. 

stimpsonslostson

I've done all sorts (usually doing Martial Arts) however...

I have two parallel grooves in my skull.
I tripped while running through a room to answer the phone.. headfirst into a radiator. 
Fractured skull that had to be stapled back together. 

I also have a strange looking scar on my calf- a woman pushed her buggy into the road in front of my bike. I got stopped, but the bike chainring embedded itself in my leg. 
I lived a long way from hospital, so I washed & glued myself back together again. 

ThePrettyDamned

I was in a room in an office I'd never been to before and thought I'd quite like a coffee. There had been a queue at one, so I went looking for another and thought I knew where one was. As I stepped out, I nearly bumped into someone else, so I apologised and stepped the other way and we did that funny dance you do.

I tried to fake the other person out, darted forward and smashed my head on the mirrored wall. The whole event was only a few seconds long but I felt such a prat.

TheMarlin

I got into a knife fight with a courgette, and lost.
took the end of my thumb off.  

ICBM

stimpsonslostson said:

I have two parallel grooves in my skull.
I tripped while running through a room to answer the phone.. headfirst into a radiator. 
Fractured skull that had to be stapled back together.

That definitely trumps the traffic warden incident. I shall pass my 'stupidest way to break your bones' crown to you in awe .

Dominic

scrumhalf said:

I broke a crown on a tooth chomping the end off a cigar.

  I hope you weren't in the process of giving out a Jim'll Fix it badge at the time !

dbphoto

Remembered this earlier when I stood on some of my daughters Lego:

I managed to impale myself right through my foot by trying to climb over the fence around Princess Street Gardens in Edinburgh. 

I'm sure at the time I had thought it through and reached the conclusion that having Dr Martin boots on would make it fine to stand on the spiky bits.

I don't remember it hurting all that much as I was so pissed, but I do remember the embarrassment at the hospital when the nurse insisted that the tetanus jab went in my arse cheek.

Heartfeltdawn

axisus said:

I had a bizarre incident a few weeks ago - I damaged a toe dropping a fish finger on it! The finger in question was frozen and somehow it just hit me in the wrong place causing a vein to go blue and stick out, it was rather uncomfortable for a few hours. Mrs A laughed hysterically when I said I had injured my foot with a fish finger.

had any weird injuries?

In ten years of chef life, the worst cut I have ever had was courtesy of a parsnip that had a piece of wood in it for some unknown reason. Gouged a hole in my hand that bled constantly for two hours, meaning I had to keep slapping on a fresh safety glove as the previous would fill up and expand with the crimson flood. 

scrumhalf

It might be best if the next forum get-together were held in the canteen of a hospital, with each person intending to attend having completed an admission form, just in case.

FatPete

I managed to snap my femur falling off a push bike. I'd just turned 12 and was returning from a compulsory visit to thank a pseudo-relative for a birthday present. The entire summer holiday and more with my leg hung up in traction (pain-free after a couple of weeks, just trapped in a hospital bed harassing the student nurses). One leg slightly shorter than the other to this day.

57Deluxe

luckily, I have no sitting down on things accidents that I can recall...

thumpingrug

I got knocked off a push bike when in my early 20, by some prat who pulled out on me.  Bike was damaged and I had a large hole in my jeans and a nasty road rash from sliding along the floor, but otherwise ok.  As I walk towards the driver and his car he made to drive off to I stuck the boot in and caused a big dent in the side of his car.  Also broke my toe.

prowla

Dominic said:

scrumhalf said:

I broke a crown on a tooth chomping the end off a cigar.

  I hope you weren't in the process of giving out a Jim'll Fix it badge at the time !

Now then, now then...

Emp_Fab

I was once smoking a fag whilst on the toilet and, having finished said fag, flicked it between my legs for it go down the pan.
It made it only as far as the end of my trouser snake and, in a stroke of incredible luck, managed a bullseye right in the centre of the foreskin, where it stuck, burning end in.  I have never moved so fast in my life.

scrumhalf

Emp_Fab said:

I was once smoking a fag whilst on the toilet and, having finished said fag, flicked it between my legs for it go down the pan.
It made it only as far as the end of my trouser snake and, in a stroke of incredible luck, managed a bullseye right in the centre of the foreskin, where it stuck, burning end in.  I have never moved so fast in my life.

At last - an explanation!