Funeral Dress Code

sev112

My mum said colour, so I bought a new very nice light green tie. Still have it but haven't worn tiea for 15 years. Shame that at the wake I spilled something on it

I liked the advice at my most recent one , which was "anything , but it's sombre, not bright" which was very good helpful advice.  Have been to the " bright and happy" ones too

koneguitarist

All recent funerals I have been to have been quite colourful and run by celebrants rather than vicars. It’s all down to family wishes though. 

Teyeplayer

koneguitarist said:

All recent funerals I have been to have been quite colourful and run by celebrants rather than vicars. It’s all down to family wishes though. 

Have you noticed how pre-planned/learnt speeches by celebrants can be bloody painful? 

I’m not religious in the slightest, but can be respectful of vicars/priests and the views of those that are religious. However, it’s the weird pseudo-spiritual crap that some celebrants use that I find really annoys me. Yesterday’s was a whole bit on stars in the sky, there’s a new star and if we look at the brightest one that’s x. No, no it isn’t, that’s a ball of gas that is billions of years old and has likely already burnt out. This is not 500bc, you are not a Druid, science has done away with that shit, person x is dead and not a star. And breathe…

Sorry, tangent there, but it really annoyed me. 

sev112

Yes but they discuss the theme with the family beforehand to agree a certain style ,approach etc .   

Grangousier

Of course, if you're in the box you don't have to wear trousers, although they like you to have a shirt and tie on. 

Teyeplayer

sev112 said:

Yes but they discuss the theme with the family beforehand to agree a certain style ,approach etc .   

It’s why I was so surprised. Having been in the family for almost two decades it was like they’d had a chat with a random passerby. 

viz

Don't get sombre and sombrero muddled up.

CavemanGrogg

3 piece suit, though without a ties as my beard just about reaches my navel, so if i wore a tie, nobody would be able to see it yet alone notice it.  Though I do wear cuff links to funerals.

fretmeister

Teyeplayer said:

koneguitarist said:

All recent funerals I have been to have been quite colourful and run by celebrants rather than vicars. It’s all down to family wishes though. 

Have you noticed how pre-planned/learnt speeches by celebrants can be bloody painful? 

I’m not religious in the slightest, but can be respectful of vicars/priests and the views of those that are religious. However, it’s the weird pseudo-spiritual crap that some celebrants use that I find really annoys me. Yesterday’s was a whole bit on stars in the sky, there’s a new star and if we look at the brightest one that’s x. No, no it isn’t, that’s a ball of gas that is billions of years old and has likely already burnt out. This is not 500bc, you are not a Druid, science has done away with that shit, person x is dead and not a star. And breathe…

Sorry, tangent there, but it really annoyed me. 

If I had my way I’d have my organs harvested and my remaining corpse just be thrown over the fence into the tiger enclosure at a safari park.

I really like tigers and they’ve given me a lot of pleasure so I should return the favour. 

Teyeplayer

fretmeister said:

Teyeplayer said:

koneguitarist said:

All recent funerals I have been to have been quite colourful and run by celebrants rather than vicars. It’s all down to family wishes though. 

Have you noticed how pre-planned/learnt speeches by celebrants can be bloody painful? 

I’m not religious in the slightest, but can be respectful of vicars/priests and the views of those that are religious. However, it’s the weird pseudo-spiritual crap that some celebrants use that I find really annoys me. Yesterday’s was a whole bit on stars in the sky, there’s a new star and if we look at the brightest one that’s x. No, no it isn’t, that’s a ball of gas that is billions of years old and has likely already burnt out. This is not 500bc, you are not a Druid, science has done away with that shit, person x is dead and not a star. And breathe…

Sorry, tangent there, but it really annoyed me. 

If I had my way I’d have my organs harvested and my remaining corpse just be thrown over the fence into the tiger enclosure at a safari park.

I really like tigers and they’ve given me a lot of pleasure so I should return the favour. 

And the pleasure you’d give the tigers, fantastic service.

Sporky

I can't decide whether I'd want to see that or not.

I'm erring towards not. 

Kittyfrisk

Apropos nothing in particular, my Mum has left her body to medical science.
She has let us know about this situation for many years, so no shocks when the day arrives.
Her body, her wishes, her rules  

maltingsaudio

fretmeister said:

maltingsaudio said:

Don’t quite understand this thread, the important thing is   you turn up if you feel you have to or want to, doesn’t matter what you wear as long a it doesn’t smell.

It’s not quite that simple. 

The closer family of the deceased might be offended by your clothing choice. It’s a hard and terrible day for them and no attendee should do anything that might make it worse. 

You and me may have no issue with the person standing next to us wearing a onesie but spouse / mum / offspring of the deceased might. This is one of those occasions where their views are more important.

It would be unconscionable to do anything that the close family might interpret as taking the piss. 

The default should be something anonymous. If in doubt, ask. 

I disagree with this, when I go to any funeral, it’s between me and the deceased, I’m saying goodbye to he/she in the terms of my relationship with them. The family or close relatives should be aware of who is going to show up and why and be joyful. If they are unhappy with who turns up and their attire then their idea of what the funeral is about is fundamentally flawed. 

I would never go to a funeral of anyone less than a friend, it’s disrespectful.

Timcito

fretmeister said:

If I had my way I’d have my organs harvested and my remaining corpse just be thrown over the fence into the tiger enclosure at a safari park.

I really like tigers and they’ve given me a lot of pleasure so I should return the favour. 

That's tempting fate a bit, isn't it? I mean, I know it's somewhat unlikely, but imagine if, in fact, we remain conscious and sentient after dying, and you found yourself ditched into the tiger compound at snack-time. Ohhh, shit!!   

Come to think of it, most of what they already do to dead bodies would be a horror movie if that were true!

Dav275

Without wishing to divert things too much, what are peoples opinions on direct cremation, ie. no traditional funeral service/gathering?

I know of several instances (family and acquaintances), where this has been chosen over a traditional ceremony. Given the cost of funerals, and the emotional stress that can be involved, I can see some merits.

Sporky

I favour it. If anyone wants to go to the pub on my behalf they should feel free, mind. 

Dominic

JerkMoans said:

It's interesting how traditions can differ so markedly.  Last funeral I attended was a Hindu ceremony, where wearing anything black is considered highly inappropriate, and the mourners all wear white.  It was explained to me that white is considered to symbolise purity and rebirth, and thus the 'positive' aspects of such an otherwise sad occasion.

Even sadder before Sati was abolished !

ESBlonde

Default would be dark suit for me unless requested otherwise.
Black tie for family and sober tie otherwise. 

I’m there to pay my respects but also to support others grieving. As said earlier, funerals are for the living. 

richardhomer

I’m ultra traditional - dark suit, plain white shirt, black tie and polished, formal shoes. I’ve been to the odd ‘happy/clappy’ one, where colours were requested and I’ve worn a bright tie.

JAYJO

Always a suit for family..black or dark blue.