Friday humour

Fretwired

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Fretwired

EricTheWeary

I went to a restaurant last night and the waiter came to the table with a pistol and a flag. I said I’m sorry , I didn’t order a starter. 

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MtB

https://i.imgur.com/uSdKyR6.jpg

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jonnyburgo

Bloke goes to the dentist and asks how much for a tooth extraction. The dentist says “we have various prices, for £500 we can take out the tooth, no blood no pain, for £300 there will be a bit of blood but little pain, for £200 there will be some blood and a fair bit of pain and for £50 it’s going to hurt like hell and there is a danger of bleeding to death. The bloke thinks for a while and says “I’ll go for the cheapest, the wife will be round for her appointment in the morning.

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rawk100

My mate is going to the Christmas do for the local premature ejaculators club tonight.

He's asked what the dress code is and they've said he can come in his pants.

NickBotfield

I got a Bonnie Tyler sat nav the other day.  it's terrible because it keeps telling me to turn around and every now and then it falls apart.

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Fretwired

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