Ways to annoy your wife, what works for you?

axisus

women seem fairly easy to annoy. My kids annoy Mrs A by making the same noise incessantly. I can put up with it for ages but the wife is 20 seconds max. My girls and I have this daft game where we mispronounce words and that bugs the Mrs a lot (a typical one would be saying trifle but pronouncing it triffel). My old boss (who was about 60) - when he went to social engagements he would annoy his mrs by introducing her "and this is my first wife ..."

Drew_TNBD

Stick a finger in her bum without permission.

lustycourtier

not picking up ends of strings, so they wedge in her feet. 

jd0272

Drew_fx;772364" said:

Stick a finger in her bum without permission.

Permission for a finger???

jd0272

When she's been a tool, I find, "Nah, I've had s wank" suffices.

hungrymark

Saying my lover's name during sex.

Hootsmon

head-butt her elderly Mother works for me everytime

randomhandclaps

hungrymark said:

Saying my lover's name during sex.

I'm lucky as my lover's name is also Albert.

jd0272

"Morning" usually does it.

rawk100

My wife complained that I walked into the front room too quickly the other night......apparently my brisk walking created a small draft which made her cold!

Sarge

I leave bite marks on the cheese in the fridge.
Also being awake.

the_twin

Breathing

mart

the_twin said:

Breathing

That's what I was going to say. But actually I don't even need to do that - she's pissed off at me before I even take a breath.

octatonic

She is very hard to annoy.

I'm the grumpy one.

breakstuff

Buying "ANOTHER bloody guitar".

Flink_Poyd

By having the audacity to exist. A monk once told her we would stay together forever just so we could annoy each other, how romantic

mudslide73

Not listening. She bloody hates it. As I get older I find it hard to concentrate on more than one thing at a time.

Not noticing there's a cup or something in the lounge after she's put the dishwasher on.

Forgetting the most important thing from the shops but bringing home other stuff that wasn't on the list. Very good this one.

Arranging gigs when we've already committed to something on that date. Really gets her goat... last time I thought I had to find somewhere else to live.

underdog

Mid conversation (in the middle of a sentence works best) put your finger on her lips, and just say shhhh you're boring me now.

They love it honestly, well probably

richardhomer

Suggesting we remarry....

Roland

Spending time on this forum works quite well

Richardj

Anything that doesn't involve horses. "Can I buy some guitar strings?" - "Do we really need them?". "I'm just going to spend x hundreds on horse food/tack/training" - "really?" - "yes, because 'we' have to".