Ways to annoy your wife, what works for you?

monofin

Farting X(

Stevepage

Making a loud noise usually makes her scream and swear in fright. Works every time.

kin

Her mother is still very much alive and apparently it's quite bad form to use the paste tense whenever mentioning her....especially while smiling and chuckling quietly.

breakstuff

underdog said:

Mid conversation (in the middle of a sentence works best) put your finger on her lips, and just say shhhh you're boring me now.

They love it honestly, well probably

Thanks mate.

I'm now sporting a shiner.

Evilmags

Really annoy her? Leave a spunky tissue by the side of the bed that she picks up and uses to blow her nose. I can assure it will work every time. Indeed I'd recommend it as you won't be able to continue your laughter in the aftermath. ...

speshul91

Taking on a paying job.

hungrymark

My wife's got more easy to annoy since the little boy cane along (he's 11 months). We have to stick rigidly to The Plan, regardless of what it's about. The other day she didn't talk to me for an hour because I said I'd prefer scrambled eggs instead of the planned omelets. Even though I WAS COOKING! Mad.

strumjoughlamps

octatonic said:

She is very hard to annoy.

I'm the grumpy one.

+1

viz

mudslide73 said:

Not listening. She bloody hates it. As I get older I find it hard to concentrate on more than one thing at a time.

Not noticing there's a cup or something in the lounge after she's put the dishwasher on.

Forgetting the most important thing from the shops but bringing home other stuff that wasn't on the list. Very good this one.

I did that when my wife was pregnant. She was desperate for orange juice all of a sudden and sent me out to Tesco, but I came back with a widescreen telly instead by mistake, which she found annoying, but in the long run was a good investment.

samzadgan

octatonic said:

She is very hard to annoy.

I'm the grumpy one.

yep...

but sometimes i will allow her to choose a film or show to watch and i will continuely point out the problems with plot, acting etc until she shuts it off and we just sit there quietly for a while, and then i'll tell her to put it back on...and the circle continues till bed time.

monofin said:

Farting X(

that doesnt work for me, because she just farts back...

capo4th

Give her a good whipping !

underdog

capo4th;772658" said:

Give her a good whipping !

Mine loves that

menamestom

Take her car keys to work. She loves that. Especially when I set off at 5am and by the time she phones I'm 150 miles away.

Sarge

menamestom;772690" said:

Take her car keys to work. She loves that. Especially when I set off at 5am and by the time she phones I'm 150 miles away.

That's a common sense safety precaution, women shouldn't be drving.

GazLion

When I watch the footy she gets a right grump on. Totally unjustified. To be fair to me I only watch it all day Saturday, half of Sunday, and 2 or 3 evenings throughout that week. No biggie.  

DLM

hungrymark said:

My wife's got more easy to annoy since the little boy cane along (he's 11 months).

I'm not surprised, I'd be easy to annoy too, if my 11 month old had already developed a substance habit.

Sassafras

Trying to get a word in.

jonnyburgo

Mrs B will  mention something in passing and expect me to remember it 3 weeks later. Like we are getting out of the car and she'll say, "Oh we're doing such and such on the 18th" the day comes and I know fuck all about it, and am on shift at work. That really bugs her.

jonnyburgo

About 4 times shes phoned me from the checkout at Sainsburys with a full trolley and Im 20 miles away at work and I've got the cash card in my pocket from the day before instead of putting it back in her purse like she asked me. God, Chill ooouut!

FX_Munkee

I've discovered that I'm allowed to have my own opinion on things, just as long as it's not different from hers.