Commuting, how long is too long?

TTBZ

So. I've been offered a great new job at one of the biggest/most well known companies in my industry working on much more varied and interesting stuff than I do now. Seems more stable and secure than where I am now as well as there have been redundancies and the business seems to be focusing less and less on our area.

The problem is that it's in central London. I live in Northants and I'd get the train down every day - moving not an option at the minute. Aside from the extortionate ticket prices (which always seem to be going up), I would make the commute about 2 hours each way, making the 12 hour shift days 16hrs out the house. All my current shifts are 10hrs so I'd be adding an extra 4 hours out of the house on the long days. 

The upside is that I wouldn't have to drive as I do now (50min-1hr depending on the day and time), sitting on the train isn't really stressful like driving. I'd also get more weekends off than I do now and there are only 2 weeks in the 16wk rota where you do a full 5 days in a row at 10am-6pm. But there are also night shifts and long days. I have a baby on the way any day now and I guess I'm just worried I'm going to be away for a long time when I'm working. How longs it going to be before I get sick of the commute and regret leaving my easy but boring, relatively close to home old job.

What do you guy think? I've bored my gf to tears obsessing over this and need to make a decision by Monday! 

octatonic

Two hours real world or two hours best case?
I've done that sort of commute- North London to Guildford.
It was a complete pig to do and I would not do it again.

TTBZ

When I go down there for freelance work it takes me about 2 hours - 10 min drive to the station, 50-60min on the train and half hour underground, then a 5 min walk. That's without taking into account late trains and strikes though I suppose. 

not_the_dj

What other support does she have locally?  Once the baby comes that'll be a long time to be just her and a newborn, but if supportive family is close by it'd help. 

TTBZ

not_the_dj said:

What other support does she have locally?  Once the baby comes that'll be a long time to be just her and a newborn, but if supportive family is close by it'd help. 

Her family are about a 40 minute drive away, my dad and step mum are 5 minutes down the road.

Moe_Zambeek

No way. Especially with a new baby coming. Even with a 100% pay rise, with young kids I would never do that unless I had absolutely no other choice. You'll miss all the good stuff of young kids. 

Sporky

Working in London is awful, as is any commute over an hour.

not_the_dj

It really is the baby that makes this a tricky one, and if it was me that'd be way too much time away. Babies change so much so quickly and you'll miss a lot of those magical moments. Plus your misses will need the support. 

TTBZ

That's exactly what I was worried about. I hate to turn down such a good opportunity for my career but work isn't everything.

richardhomer

Wouldn't countenance it personally. On a bright summer's day it might feel bearable - in the middle of December you'll feel all you do is work - or battle to get there.

Its a great truism that as you look back on life that you never think 'I wish I'd worked more'. At almost 53, time feels very much an ever-diminishing resource - spending time on things you enjoy is vital for a fulfilled and happy life.

ICBM

If you can't decide, ask your other half to tell you honestly whether she wants you to do it or not, and accept without question what she says.

Sporky

ICBM said:

If you can't decide, ask your other half to tell you honestly whether she wants you to do it or not, and accept without question what she says.

'Cos then you can blame her either way. Genius!

Also, as I often suggest, flip a coin and see if you want to make it best of three or if you're happy with the outcome.

[edit] Just wondering; if you took the job and it worked out, would you be in a position to move a bit closer?

TheBigDipper

My wife lived in East Haddon and worked in Southwark 2-3 days per week. It drained her. 

olafgarten

Travelling to London by train isn't fun. It's shocking how many delays and cancellations there are. I get the train almost every day to/from Waterloo and 9/10 times the train is late, delayed or cancelled. 

crunchman

TTBZ said:

When I go down there for freelance work it takes me about 2 hours - 10 min drive to the station, 50-60min on the train and half hour underground, then a 5 min walk. That's without taking into account late trains and strikes though I suppose. 

Depending on where the office is, you ought to be able to chop a bit off the London end of things with a Boris Bike or a Brompton folding bike.  I live in London, but at the last 4 offices I've worked in the journey has been at least 10 minutes quicker by bike than by Tube.

Having said that, I wouldn't even think about doing that length of commute - especially with young kids.  My current office is only 12 minutes from home, and the difference it makes is huge.

TTony

TTBZ said:

That's exactly what I was worried about. I hate to turn down such a good opportunity for my career but work isn't everything.

Jobs come and go.

Your family is - if you work at it - forever.

That should guide your priorities.


If you've no real home commitments, then a 2hr journey to & from work every day (for a great/interesting/well-paid job) might make some sense.  If you've got home commitments, or want any sort of life outside of work, then spending 16hrs of your 24 daily allocation focused on work starts to make very little sense.

And travelling on the tube is about as de-humanising as it's possible to get.

RocknRollDave

ICBM said:

ask your other half to tell you .... and accept without question what she says.

Sound advice for life in general, that.

Iamnobody

As someone who is about to swap my 45-60 min commute for a 10 min or less one for family reasons I'm probably not best placed to advise!

strtdv

4 hours a day is a lot of extra time spent on work/getting to work.

If it was hugely well paid and I otherwise loved the job I'd do it for a while and then have a look at whether I could either use it as a stepping stone to something else, or move nearer long term.

It would need to be a ridiculous pay rise though.
My current upper limit for commuting is about 45 minutes each way. If that went to 2 hours each way and longer shifts, I'd need to be getting 50% more money for it to be worth it to me.

mellowsun

2 hours each way is not sustainable. I've done it and I would never do it again, unless working from home at least 2 days a week was an option. Doing that commute 5 days a week will affect your health eventually.

Myranda

I commute for 2 hours each way to uni... and even with the uncomplicated life of a student it's exhausting... and I don't often have a 12 hour day.

Combining 12 hour days with a new child and 4 hours a day of commuting could be awful. The job would need to be the best ever and the pay astounding.