The SHITTIEST animal

richardhomer · May 2017

octatonic said:

Dogs are awesome.

Thought as much. I won't say dogs then.

stimpsonslostson · May 2017

monquixote said:

Pandas

Only eat food with no nutritional value and can't even be arsed to have sex.

Pandas. Wisdom.

I'm a conservation biologist & HATE pandas.
Mosquitoes are a close second, but as they're invertebrates I can't completely despise them.

octatonic · May 2017

richardhomer said:

octatonic said:

Dogs are awesome.

Thought as much. I won't say dogs then.

You can, I won't be offended.
Why don't you like dogs?

Oh and this is the end of our friendship.

Deadman · May 2017

richardhomer said:

I take it dogs won't meet with much approval?

You're fuckin right there Ricky.

beed84 · May 2017

monquixote said:

Pandas

Only eat food with no nutritional value and can't even be arsed to have sex.

When you put it like that, I'm fairly certain that's what I've descended from...

Otherwise it's moths for me. Can't stand the vile creatures.

Heartfeltdawn · May 2017

Drew_TNBD said:

Humans are not an option.

I'm gonna go snakes or chimps. Snakes coz they're fucking mingin... and chimps because they're pure evil.

Snakes all the way. They look evil, they sound evil, and they move in an evil way. There are two things in the world I am terrified of: swimming and snakes. Both relate to childhood incidents. SO here goes...

Swimming - on a family holiday, I dived into the deep end and was underwater for a long time. I didn't know how to swim. Mum jumped in fully clothed (open air pool) and dragged me up. Two days later, still in shock from water, my uncle took my brother and I out with his kids in an inflatable dinghy. We got taken out by the tide, waves got serious. We were rescued by a Sea King. I never forgave him and took great delight on the final night of the holiday in consuming candy floss and a hot dog at a fair and then vomiting over him when we drove back.

Snakes - we used to live the countryside. Early 80's, there was one big bad winter. I went out to feed the rabbit in the hutch. I came back holding something and asked Mum what it was. She apparently froze for a second, told me to drop it, and then grabbed the nearest broom. I was carrying an adder that had got into the hutch in the search for warmth.

That great psychological cliche about your childhood? All fucking true.

Nunogilberto · May 2017

Cats - cunts.

BRISTOL86 · May 2017

Nunogilberto said:

Cats - cunts.

You're not wrong. Look at this prick.

https://i.imgur.com/NixPQxs.png

richardhomer · May 2017

Nunogilberto said:

Cats - cunts.

Outside!

ICBM · May 2017

Chimps are nasty... mostly because they're very like humans.

Hyenas aren't too nice either.

Vampire Bats are quite disturbing. Saw one of those kids' wildlife programmes where the presenter went into a cave full of them... and bat shit that stinks of decaying blood. Not nice.

Sporky · May 2017

Swans. Entitled shitwangs.

proggy · May 2017

Has to be wasps. Nasty little fuckers, they sting you for fun.

richardhomer · May 2017

octatonic said:
Why don't you like dogs?

Oh and this is the end of our friendship.

Apart from their neediness, requirement to be taken for a walk whatever the weather and that they tend to slobber everywhere - I do have a 'proper' reason.

When I was six, I got a Triang Flying Scotsman for Christmas.

The man who lived next door had worked on the railways all his life and was dying on cancer. My father thought I should go round and show him the model.

I knocked on the door and was greeted by the gentleman's wife - followed rapidly by their dog which jumped up at me - knocking my one day old Flying Scotsman out of my hands. On hitting the floor, it broke into about a million pieces. There was no way my parents could afford to replace it....

These kind of things leave you scarred for life....

Deadman · May 2017

proggy said:

Has to be wasps. Nasty little fuckers, they sting you for fun.

And they're fucking useless. If cats are cunts they're blue waffles.

snakemanStoo · May 2017

Slugs. Fucking homeless snails.

Deadman · May 2017

richardhomer said:

octatonic said:
Why don't you like dogs?

Oh and this is the end of our friendship.

Apart from their neediness, requirement to be taken for a walk whatever the weather and that they tend to slobber everywhere - I do have a 'proper' reason.

When I was six, I got a Triang Flying Scotsman for Christmas.

The man who lived next door had worked on the railways all his life and was dying on cancer. My father thought I should go round and show him the model.

I knocked on the door and was greeted by the gentleman's wife - followed rapidly by their dog which jumped up at me - knocking my one day old Flying Scotsman out of my hands. On hitting the floor, it broke into about a million pieces. There was no way my
parents could afford to replace it....

These kind of things leave you scarred for life....

You are pardoned. That would have destroyed me.

Sporky · May 2017

richardhomer said:

When I was six, I got a Triang Flying Scotsman for Christmas.

The man who lived next door had worked on the railways all his life and was dying on cancer. My father thought I should go round and show him the model.

I knocked on the door and was greeted by the gentleman's wife - followed rapidly by their dog which jumped up at me - knocking my one day old Flying Scotsman out of my hands. On hitting the floor, it broke into about a million pieces. There was no way my parents could afford to replace it....

These kind of things leave you scarred for life....

Surely you should hate your dad for that - it was his idea.

richardhomer · May 2017

Sporky said:

richardhomer said:

When I was six, I got a Triang Flying Scotsman for Christmas.

The man who lived next door had worked on the railways all his life and was dying on cancer. My father thought I should go round and show him the model.

I knocked on the door and was greeted by the gentleman's wife - followed rapidly by their dog which jumped up at me - knocking my one day old Flying Scotsman out of my hands. On hitting the floor, it broke into about a million pieces. There was no way my parents could afford to replace it....

These kind of things leave you scarred for life....

Surely you should hate your dad for that - it was his idea.

Oh absolutely. No question about that....

ThePrettyDamned · May 2017

The ocean sunfish.

http://www.deepseanews.com/2017/02/ocean-sunfish-are-the-most-useless-animal-an-epic-rant/

DarnWeight · May 2017

Pelicans.

Massive evil bastards. Prone to violence against anything and everything. The Keyser Soze of the animal kingdom.

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