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I hope it gets resolved to your satisfaction and all the best with it. Children's safety has always got to come first
Yeah, this.
Purely by coincidence I came across this passage in a novel I was reading yesterday (Time Will Darken It by William Maxwell).
”When Mary Caroline was seven years old she stopped playing with dolls and instead haunted any house on Elm Street where there was a baby. In dozens of ways she conveyed her dependability with the result that, when other girls were playing jackstraws or skipping rope, she was wheeling a baby carriage up and down the shady sidewalks, tipping the carriage to produce a toothless smile and a crinkling of tiny eyelids, jiggling the carriage when the baby fretted ..”
This was published in 1948 and set in conservative, well-to-do small town America (Maxwell was quite posh, and that was the world he knew). None of the characters saw anything wrong in putting babies in the charge of a 7 year old girl.
Not sure I understand her reply so my wife will speak to her in person at school today.
She says that she was still at the other end of the school yard up the stairs and was watching to see if we would take her. Then she saw us walk off with her on my shoulders.
That's true, so she must still have been there. Makes sense that I couldn't see her but she could see us, if she had a vantage point.
Doesn't explain why she let my 2 year old go down the stairs to another section of the school yard though. It's a significant distance. If she hadn't made it to us and someone snatched her or she got hurt she'd have needed to sprint, but wouldn't have been able to while she's looking after other kids.
I'm sure they're not all like this, but to me it's glorified baby sitting with no control over whether my child will be kept in a safe environment or not (i.e. if he/she wanted to take my kid to the park (which is perfectly reasonable to do so), I have no control over which park, who else will be there and whether my child would be safe. At least at nursery, they go outside to the garden, it's completely enclosed and under a watchful eye of at least 2 of the staff.
And as I said above, I'm not suggesting that all Childminders are terrible child carers, just going on what I've seen and observed locally. I do, infact, have a friend who is a registered childminder, but she lives 200 miles away so it's not practical to use her services
I'm now realising I've no idea what goes on in her house. She's obviously got her own thoughts on what's acceptable, and they don't match mine at all. If I'm looking after my daughter then I'm looking after her. I let her wander about wherever she wants within reason, but I'm always following her within an arms length away to pick her up if needed.
It never entered my mind that someone else would relax that. If anything I thought it would be more strict, because no one wants to lose someone else's child.
We get similar updates from her that we would get from school. Which, I guess, is not surprising, since she still occasionally teaches the same age group (as a supply teacher).
I think it is a bit of luck, and a bit of careful vetting, to get a good one.
She's being a bit funny about the free 30 hours a week thing from next year though. She's not sure she wants to do it because apparently the government aren't quick enough to pay.
I want my daughter to maintain the relationship for another year, because she's already seeming quite advanced for her age. Learning bits of Spanish and Czech on top of her English and Japanese, and generally having her numbers and colours down and what not.
I look at the nursery across the road from us, and it just looks like a smoggy baby prison. Not into the idea. But not sure what to do really, force the issue or find another childminder.
Anyway... sympathize with OP for sure, but a great childminder can be much better for an individual child than a nursery. I don't buy the "additional socialisation" argument. They get better socialisation by having a small unit of close friends and adults IMHO.