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That's a bit of a revelation ... great picking! More info is always good.
We're possibly barking up the wrong tree with "Message in a Bottle" then (although my point re. pick directions stands strong)
I had a 50-something year old student who'd been playing since his twenties start lessons in 2011. Within a minute of meeting me he said, "I should warn you, I've had lessons before and I'm not comfortable playing in front of other people". Within a year he was out gigging and these days he's in a couple of bands and running the local jazz jam session!
I've never asked him what the catalyst was but in lessons we tended to focus solely on mechanics and he always seemed comfortable playing in front of me when it was just a case of executing instructions. Any criticism from me was nothing to do with "musicality", rather based purely on whether something was functioning correctly.
We're still pals; perhaps I'll ask him what changed the next time we cross paths.
About 15 years ago my wife bought me a nice classical guitar as she loves the sound and that you actually play a tune I was Grade 7 classical as a kid (just think I could actually play stuff like that in an exam environment - can't of been me). I got a tutor to polish things up a bit and try and get my chops back together. Let me tell you the guitar she bought was lovely but had a really big, wide neck; even for a classical gtr. I went for a few lessons which seemed ok and got to the point of working on a couple of mid-range pieces. I practised like mad but struggled with the neck somewhat. I returned for the next lesson and whilst it was OK the teacher was quite critical of the fact that I was cocking up a fair bit. He was sort of insinuating I wasn't working hard enough.. I kept on going but a couple of lessons later having experienced the same things but worse I was starting to dread going. Before I started my lesson the sweating and palpitations were starting and I started to go into a downward cycle just getting worse. He eventually got somewhat aggressive and complained I was wasting his and my time. I then stopped and didn't play in front of anyone until about 3 years ago.
Si
The music lesson. Victor Wooten.
Emotional Intelligence. Daniel Goleman.
These are 3 books I read when I was in a pickle for lots of reasons. I still read them when the kids let me. They're not expensive and you may enjoy them.
I subscribed to your Youtube channel and notice you have no videos up other than the two you've posted here which you've marked as unlisted. I infer marking them as unlisted relates to your hang-ups under discussion.
I dare you to mark them as public now (EDIT: And turn comments ON) and to continue posting regularly on there by way of acclimatisation or "exposure therapy".
As I think you've already found it's a world apart from just playing to yourself and IMO very close to gigging but with a safety net. You look good on camera and your playing's great ... will watch with interest!
I'll make them public but beware most are just me doing technical exercises when I was working hard on my picking technique!
Si
They're all public now
Si
If that's true then I'm even worse than I had imagined. We did The Wildhearts track together, right?
I remember feeling like a complete imposter, you guys were all great, I turned my bass down to barely audible level and just tried to remember the root notes - like any bass player!
I hope we have another Rats as despite the nerves for me I had a great time and everyone was great..
I've no idea what I need to do to turn on commenting tbh..
Either way I'll look forward to seeing some more musical (than the technique workouts) stuff from you!
You may wanna look at these if you're looking for something musical;
Luke type thang;
https://youtu.be/aKjU3fiVdvo
Rock Improvisation
https://youtu.be/OXyYEY6I1Vk
Ballady type thang;
https://youtu.be/9nsW4nex2RQ
Few Jazzy Bars;
https://youtu.be/liELgfdS_6Y
IMO open mics add more pressure than playing with your own band as it's normally just a few songs. Even if you absolutely butcher the first few songs of a full gig (and I can't believe that would happen) there is 100% no way you won't get up to par over the course of a 90 minute set.
Structure a set to ensure the first few songs are so easy you simply cannot mess then up and you'll be away
I played in a band for about 3 years and stopped about a year ago when that ended - could probably play at 30% of what I can actually do. never really got any easier and I never got any better in public. Was pretty much always the same outcome except for a couple of occasions when for some reason I just felt different. Not sure why or what I was thinking on those occasions. Maybe that's what I need to focus on a little..
It's something deeper than that and may possibly be something I just have to accept. I'm not going to give up on however.
I don't know or recognise the piece you were playing in the video above but it sounded better than good to me. Fair dues to you for making the video.
Nil Satis Nisi Optimum
Thanks for the input. I appreciate that and accept that most people will probably be unaware. Selfishly however I'd like to be able to play live somewhat more at a level that I can actually play at. I'd take 50% tbh but can't do that.
@Grunfeld
Again thanks for contributing. The really strange thing for me is that I actually enjoy performing; I get a buzz from the sensation of being out there etc. mentally in the same way I do with work when I speak to large audiences. I'm not saying I don't get a little nervous apprehension as I do but the feeling of actually doing it is great. The problem is that the mental/physical issues I have just trying to play in the public eye (irrespective of size of audience; I have the same impacts when trying a guitar in a shop or playing in front of some friends) are completely disproportionate to the any nervousness sensation.
I'm going to follow up on the hypnosis thing to see if that can help for sure. As you suggest maybe I should just try and get some gigs playing material that I'd consider simple so that I can just get some hours in working on performance skills..
I posted the videos so that contributors can see that I am actually a reasonably capable player and yet if you plonked me down in front of anyone I'd struggle to throw together a bunch of cowboy chords without fucking up.
Regards,
Si