Bad Gags.

CHRISB50

What do you call a 3 legged donkey?

A wonkey.

57Deluxe

Two Nuns in a bath one says to the other "where's the soap?" and the other replies - "Yes it does rather..."

Reverend

I liked the German jokes that did the rounds a few years ago.

What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx Cat.

Knock, knock.
Who's there? 
It;s the police. 
It's the police who? 
It's the police and your husband has been involved in a  serious traffic incident.
 
A man walks in a bar.
He is an alcoholic who is damaging both his health and his family life. 

richardhomer

Kebabkid said:

What cheese to you use to coax a grizzly out of a cave?
Camem-bert

What cheese do you use to hide a horse?

Mascarpone....

scrumhalf

What's brown and green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree and hits you it'll kill you?

A snooker table.

scrumhalf

If you put a shell suit to your ear you can hear the sound of the sea at Southend.

Can be altered to suit one's location.

kaypeejay

Knock Knock
Who's there
Interrupting cow
Interrupting c Mooooooo!

ESBlonde

Two dogs talking,

First dog: Do you like jokes?
Second dog: Oh yes rather.
First dog: Knock knock?
Second dog: woof, woof, woof,WOOF,woof, woof, woof,WOOF,woof, woof, woof,woof,WOOF,woof, woof, woof,WOOF,woof, woof, woof, woof,WOOF,woof, woof,WOOF,woof, woof, woof,WOOF,woof,

Reverend

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

proggy

What's brown and sticky?

My Beyoncé poster.

Gassage

Get me a Crocodile sandwich...and make it snappy....

Gassage

What's pink and hard?

Pig with a flick knife.....

Gassage

What's pink and screams?



Peeled baby in a bag of salt.

frank1985

a skeleton walks into a bar and asks for a beer...and a mop.

Ravenous

What's black & white, red all over, and can't turn round in corridors?

A nun with a spear through her head.

cruxiform

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They form a self-help group called 'Coping With Darkness'. 

Bucket

Bloke goes into a shop and says "How much is that cake in the window?"

Shopkeeper says "That's £1."

Then the bloke points at another cake and says "And how about that cake?"

"That's £1 as well."

And then he points at another cake and says "And what about that one?"

"That one's £1.50."

"Why's it more expensive?"

"Ahh. That's madeira cake."

(works better if you say it)

Nitefly

@Bucket seeing as it's your birthday, have a LOL.

cj73

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No idea




What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea




What do you call a man with no shins?

Neil




What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other?

Eileen




What do you call a man with no legs or arms in a swimming pool?

Bob





How do you become a renowned Scottish poet?


Stand naked in front of the fire till yer Rabbie Burns






I'm here all week. Try the waitress and tip the veal

Nitefly

It's when these threads come round from time to time that I realise how much I miss @bertie :

"Do you know your fly is open, and your semen is dripping on the floor?"
 
"Know it?  I fuckin wrote it!!!"