I'm too fat - help !

thomasross20

Gone are the days where I could eat what I want. It now goes to my middle, but mostly to my thighs. It's in check but I have to eat a little more boring. I make sure to get sit-ups in every week and go for a couple 10 minute runs (and walks at lunchtime if I can). No silver bullet - eat less, exercise more, stick to that throughout life! OH, I don't really drink (one cider every 3 months maybe) which probably helps.

Emp_Fab

Handsome_Chris said:

Emp, why do you want to lose weight?  If it was from a fear of dieing? Is it a fear of leaving Mrs Emp on her own with young Pugsley?  Is it because you know what people think of fatties?

Nope.  It's pure vanity.  I've always thought I was a handsome bugger and the saggy chin and the expanding stomach is interfering with my narcissistic self-admiration in the mirror.  I was thinking just the other day that I was beginning to look like George Clooney would if he put on a few pounds, and I'm not having that.

There is a small element of also not wanting to leave Mrs Emp and Pugs alone, though she would be significantly better off financially.  There is no fear of dieting and I don't give a monkey's what other people think of me (though I would if I was waddling about the place, but thankfully I'm not that big !)

I can do it.  I just need to find the fun in doing it.  I'm not one of these people who whines about how difficult it is to lose weight at the same time as stuffing another cream bun in my cakehole.  I'm fully aware that 'calories in' need to go down and 'calories burned' need to go up.  It doesn't really get any simpler than that.

My problem is that I get great pleasure from the 'calories in' bit and no pleasure from the 'calories burned' bit, and I'm a hedonist at heart, so things that please me always get priority over things I should do.  If I can find a way to make the 'calories burned' bit pleasurable (no.... dirty buggers !), and also find a way to still get my endorphine kick from 'fewer calories in', then I'm laughing.

Clarky

Emp_Fab said:

My problem is that I get great pleasure from the 'calories in' bit and no pleasure from the 'calories burned' bit, and I'm a hedonist at heart, so things that please me always get priority over things I should do.  If I can find a way to make the 'calories burned' bit pleasurable (no.... dirty buggers !), and also find a way to still get my endorphine kick from 'fewer calories in', then I'm laughing.

something I discovered is that the more weight I lost, the less of a chore the gym felt and the more I started to enjoy it..

the shape and condition of your body becomes a sort of project.. like you're making / building something..

watching the weight fall away each week is awesome.. at first you only see the numbers on the scales going down, which is cool, but you don't see much of a difference in yourself.. then you notice that you can take off and put on your trousers whilst they're still done up.. then your t-shirts start looking like you're swearing a tent..

nothing boost the ol' vanity thing like having to go out and buy slim fit M size t-shirts.. there's all the feel good stuff right there..

me and Chris were sat outside a cafe the other week working out weight loss in terms of guitar gear..

as in, by week x I'd lost a whole fkn 4x12 cab.. then a 4x12 with a JCM800.. like imagine walking around with all that strapped to ya..

and going to bed with an amp and cab on ya.. totally nuts.. lol.. 

a girl I know lost a few kg short of a JCM800 and a pair of 4x12 cabs.. mental.. lmao.. but now she looks jaw-dropping..

now I look at fat people in a whole different way.. as in..

"you don't have to be like that, and it's not difficult to sort it out"

like Chris says.. I wish I'd done this years ago..

that said.. right now I think I'm at the happiest, most contented time of my life so..

and a lot of it is down to completely rebuilding myself inside and out..

octatonic

Clarky said:

Emp_Fab said:

My problem is that I get great pleasure from the 'calories in' bit and no pleasure from the 'calories burned' bit, and I'm a hedonist at heart, so things that please me always get priority over things I should do.  If I can find a way to make the 'calories burned' bit pleasurable (no.... dirty buggers !), and also find a way to still get my endorphine kick from 'fewer calories in', then I'm laughing.

something I discovered is that the more weight I lost, the less of a chore the gym felt and the more I started to enjoy it..

the shape and condition of your body becomes a sort of project.. like you're making / building something..

watching the weight fall away each week is awesome.. at first you only see the numbers on the scales going down, which is cool, but you don't see much of a difference in yourself.. then you notice that you can take off and put on your trousers whilst they're still done up.. then your t-shirts start looking like you're swearing a tent..

nothing boost the ol' vanity thing like having to go out and buy slim fit M size t-shirts.. there's all the feel good stuff right there..

me and Chris were sat outside a cafe the other week working out weight loss in terms of guitar gear..

as in, by week x I'd lost a whole fkn 4x12 cab.. then a 4x12 with a JCM800.. like imagine walking around with all that strapped to ya..

and going to bed with an amp and cab on ya.. totally nuts.. lol.. 

a girl I know lost a few kg short of a JCM800 and a pair of 4x12 cabs.. mental.. lmao.. but now she looks jaw-dropping..

now I look at fat people in a whole different way.. as in..

"you don't have to be like that, and it's not difficult to sort it out"

like Chris says.. I wish I'd done this years ago..

that said.. right now I think I'm at the happiest, most contented time of my life so..

and a lot of it is down to completely rebuilding myself inside and out..

I've never thought about it in terms of amps/cabs.

That is hilarious.

My brother had a gastric bypass about a year ago.

He was morbidly obese and needed to do it.

He's lost 70kg in the last year- which is an overweight woman.

Crazy.

holnrew

Does he have saggy skin?

streethawk

The missus has just started slimmer's world.

She was addicted to sugar, 3 cokes a day, fast food, bars of chocolate. I too suffered from this obsession cramming in at least two ripples a day - more on weekends.

She's lost half a stone in 2 weeks. I'm not following it as stringently but have lost a few pounds too.

We're eating just as much but it's all fresh food cooked using fry light instead of oil etc.

You can eat whatever you want but there has to be a certain ratio of veg, lean protein and Alpen light bars. Something like that.

I'm basically Gordon Ramsey now - shopping for fresh produce and working out ways to make meals tasty without simply adding a ton of fat, sugar and salt. I've mastered stir frying and currys. Next up is fish.

No exercise. That comes later.

octatonic

holnrew said:

Does he have saggy skin?

I'm not entirely sure- I haven't asked him and he is back in Oz and I haven't seen him.

I would expect so, but frankly that is a small price to pay to no longer be at a risk of imminent death.

He has a young child and he needed to do it.

I think that is what gave him the impetus to get the operation and sort his weight.

richardhomer

I could probably do with getting at least a Mark Series Boogie off....

chillidoggy

You lot still haven't got it, have you? It's never going to happen. I'll believe it when the laminate flooring goes down.

Drew_TNBD

My problem is that I get great pleasure from the 'calories in' bit and no pleasure from the 'calories burned' bit, and I'm a hedonist at heart, so things that please me always get priority over things I should do.  If I can find a way to make the 'calories burned' bit pleasurable (no.... dirty buggers !), and also find a way to still get my endorphine kick from 'fewer calories in', then I'm laughing.

Just kinda sounds like an excuse to me. You get pleasure from food? Oh grow the fuck up mate.

I can't let this horseshit go unchallenged ! If you don't get pleasure from food, you either have no tastebuds or you or Mrs FX can't cook for shit. Either way, you obviously have difficulty in comprehending that not every human on the planet conforms to your personal concept of what is pleasurable and what isn't. That alone would suggest that your level of maturity is way, way lower than mine, so telling me to 'Grow the fuck up' is rather hypocritical, don't you think ? Ner ner na ner ner !!!

ICBM

richardhomer said:

I could probably do with getting at least a Mark Series Boogie off....

A MkIV weighs as much as a medium-sized asteroid, so exactly how heavy are you?!!!

frankus

Emp_Fab said:

As for why I sabotage myself...  I think it's pretty much as I said in my original post...  I love food and I hate exercise.  If you haven't got it, I'll restate it... I lurrrrrrrrvvvvvve food and I find exercise so boring I'd rather smack myself in the bollocks with a ruler for half an hour.  I also LOVE FOOD.  I love cooking and eating what I've cooked.

Self-sabotage is an odd thing. I can't really have a sense of my own demons because the only time I realise they're there is when I've blindly run a mile or two in the other direction. Most times it's all too easy to shrug off that confusion and get back to a comfortable li(f)e... when I've discovered self-sabotage it's taken time and support from someone else to spot for me - I really think it'd take too long on my own.

I hate exercise, I have to do a certain amount to keep my grade in Karate but I'd rather smack a punchbag or spar for a few hours than do a load of burpees or pull ups. There are some forms of exercise I enjoy - the trick is not loving all forms of exercise it's about going with the flow and finding one that works for you.

In short, I have no willpower.  I'm also on a low dose of an anti-anxiety tablet as I was having panic attacks around the time of my heart attack, and they seem to have left me with very little ability to worry about anything.  I know what I'm doing is likely to be injurious to my long term survival, but, in much the same way smokers know how dangerous it is, it doesn't seem to register deeply enough to make me change my ways.  In fact, the only reason I'm even contemplating dieting and getting fitter is for vanity's sake, not to reduce my chances of an early death.  I just don't want to look like a fat bastard.

Don't be so tough on yourself. First off you're not vain, you're not content with your appearance and want to change that - you can do that. You can do that by finding new foods that you enjoy the taste of that are a little better.

You don't need to have the purest intentions for making a change - use whatever you've got to motivate you to change a little to feel like you're in control of your life and can make a difference to your life. Once you start the ball rolling it'll feel great and all you need to do is keep motivating yourself to keep doing it and that'll feel great.

@Holnrew Thanks for asking, but everything is great at home.  I'm just a contented fat bugger who throws caution to the wind.

I know where Holn's coming from, I tend to comfort eat, slack off exercise and stop looking after myself when other realtionships are strained.

I seriously have very little willpower.  I've just come back from a night out with my co-workers, another couple of pints, burger and chips, and still felt the need to eat a packet of crisps and two biscuits whilst typing this in bed.  I wasn't even hungry for them.

How can you change something if you're not aware of it? You can't. So in recognising you over-ate and had no reason you've started steps already. Will power doesn't happen overnight, every time we decide to change it's because we've been humbled by a lacking in ourselves. So why hate seeing that lacking or turn it into a mountain?

For me, when I find these things I have to get past my conditioning towards shame - I'm used to confessing it and feeling guilty, sometimes helpless - it can depress me -- when I've overcome that, feel okay about the new shocking discovery, I can think of something to change about it and I feel better, then I feel like I'm growing as a person and that is when I feel most alive.

If you look at people doing proper exercise they vary the exercises and have "goats" exercises they're crap at and work on but hate working on. People down the gym doing the same exercise week in and out - get bored and aren't training their body properly..

I think once I make a serious effort and see the weight coming off, I'll be more motivated to stay on the straight and narrow.

If that works it'd be great, what I think has been lacking in all this advice of a new regime is early days, I personally don't hold with the notion of beasting yourself through the early days - mostly because the vocie in your head that does the beasting.. is the "critical voice" which voices self-doubt, self-hatred and judgement - that voice needs to be starved of attention.

One of the ways I do it is to encourage myself. Imagine your body is your amazing pug, how would you encourage him to exercise a bit more and eat a bit less? What tone of voice would you use? How much would you introduce at any time? What rewards would you give? How often would you praise him? What would you say to him if he didn't manage something and looked disappointed? When I first did this for myself it was tough as I didn't want to be nice to myself, I struggled with it and I wondered "why is this difficult for me?"

If you find a stretching routine off the internet, you're winning. If you ask your GP's advice you're winning, if you do some stretches you're winning, if you do them a few days on the trot you're winning, if you realise you've fallen off the wagon and resume the exercises again - you're winning.

For me, the key to any lasting changes is happiness and gratitude and how easily those feelings appear.  For instance, I like white wine - but after a work out cold water tastes better than any other drink I've ever tasted.

richardhomer

ICBM;303059" said:

A MkIV weighs as much as a medium-sized asteroid, so exactly how heavy are you?!!!

Truthfully I probably need to drop about 3 Norlin era Les Paul Customs....

p90fool

If you love food, do what I did and REALLY get into food. By which I mean good food.

For me the difference is fresh herbs and clever spicing or seasoning. A piece of grilled salmon with some sprigs of fennel from my garden and a quick grind of black pepper is WAY tastier than your average pasty or sausage roll. Most overweight people who say they're obsessed with food are just addicted to SHIT food.

Get into cooking, read about fresh, simple ingredients and how to prepare them, stop eating things out of packets or drinking out of cans. I LOVE food, and now my only vice is a quick glug of red wine while I'm crushing garlic, warming some olive oil and exploring my cupboards.

Ask yourself, are you obsessed with food or merely addicted to brand names? Ginsters, Coca Cola, Birds Eye all that? It isn't food, it's carb and salt-based mass media marketing.

Don't buy a meal, buy the components of a meal and you will lose weight and be healthier.

octatonic

p90fool said:

For me the difference is fresh herbs and clever spicing or seasoning. A piece of grilled salmon with some sprigs of fennel from my garden and a quick grind of black pepper is WAY tastier than your average pasty or sausage roll. Most overweight people who say they're obsessed with food are just addicted to SHIT food.

This is often very true.

I cook- I don't buy prepackaged food.

Emp- why don't you list exactly what you eat for a few days?

I can also vouch for the usefulness of My Fitness Pal.

VimFuego

food addiction is a tricky one to kick. For a start, our brain rewards us for eating certain sorts of foods, often these are foods that, in nature, are hard to obtain and/spoil quickly (for example sugary foods in nature are pretty rare, fatty foods are often attached to animals that can run faster than us or have big horns and nasty hooves, and it spoils pretty quickly). So the instinct is to gorge on these, and our brain releases all sorts of pleasure chemicals when we do so. This is all fine and dandy when we live in a state of nature, but becomes more problematic when we are surrounded by cheap and easily available food all the time, even where I live it would be a major hassle to obtain illegal drugs, but the pushers of fatty and sugary foods are all within a short drive. The trick (for me at least, everyone has to find their own method) was to learn to crave the taste of less pleasurable foods. I now really crave the taste of a nice, fresh salad (this may have something to do with growing the ingredients myself). That said, I also have learnt to listen to my body. There are times when I'm working exceptionally physically hard for many hours a day and a green salad and grilled mackerel just doesn't cut it, then I need the fat. However, even then I will avoid processed food, if I want a burger I will make one, I will bake the rolls and make up the burger mix (I am lucky in that I can easily obtain locally reared, grass fed beef for less than the supermarkets sell corn fed rubbish). Dunno if this makes much sense, I guess I'm saying what several others have said (the less judgemental ones anyways) that it's about relearning things. With food, it's not easy at all.

NickBotfield

How about getting a couple of new cookbooks?  I really like The Marathon Chef by Michel Roux.  It's a bit preachy when he's talking about running but the recipes are really good.  No low fat low flavour bollocks, just really interesting food.

octatonic

VimFuego said:

I guess I'm saying what several others have said (the less judgemental ones anyways) that it's about relearning things. With food, it's not easy at all.

No one is being judgmental- at least I don't think anyone here is judging Emp harshly.

We all have our own journey and some of us (including myself) have been through it and continue to have to be vigilant.

I'd love to be able to go back and give my old self some advice and this is what I'm trying to get across.

There has to be a point where you take yourself aside and say 'enough is enough'.

Emp is doing that but then in the next breath he is letting himself off and saying 'I can't'.

That is what he needs to drop- it can be done and he won't succeed until he does it.

Drew_TNBD

octatonic said:

VimFuego said:

I guess I'm saying what several others have said (the less judgemental ones anyways) that it's about relearning things. With food, it's not easy at all.

No one is being judgmental- at least I don't think anyone here is judging Emp harshly.

We all have our own journey and some of us (including myself) have been through it and continue to have to be vigilant.

I'd love to be able to go back and give my old self some advice and this is what I'm trying to get across.

Exactly. I'm not being judgemental. I'm just throwing hard home truths out there, and they're ones I've come to realise through my own experiences.

And I'm not even limiting that to food. Biting my nails used to be an incredibly self-destructive thing I did to myself. To the point where I would cause myself actual pain. OCD, anxiety, depression... whatever caused it.. I had to make an EXTREMELY concerted effort to stop. I've managed to prevent myself from doing it for a few months now, and I feel so much better about it. I look at my finger tips, and they're no longer a gnarled horrible mess.

Beer too - I was going down the path of drinking after work every night, on my own, at home. Just sat in front of this fucking forum, acting like a douche... or just watching re-runs of McGuyver on Netflix whilst downing bottle after bottle of Spitfire.

And why? All I got for it was lost time, and a building sense of apathy and dread. Why do it to yourself?

I'm going through this transformation now, where I'm trying to better myself physically and mentally... it's not just being judgemental for the sake of it.

VimFuego

read back through the thread, there have been some extremely judgemental comments, there has also been an awful lot of really good advice.