Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

rainer2859

Dear Cher,

No, you can't turn back time, so FFS stop wearing that ridiculous see through gear.

mudslide73

This is one of my favourite threads ever - some really great stuff. A few names who are no longer of these parts too - come back if you're lurking! 

proggy

Dear Jim,

Thanks for fixing it for me to milk a cow back in the 70's.

I don't know why you insisted that I put the blindfold on, but it doesn't matter, I had a great day.

Yours

Proggy of London.

57Deluxe

Dear David and Mick,

Would the new change from branded cigarette packaging to olive green with images of pre-amputated feet have been sufficient for you to have stopped smoking years ago and thereby - still be fucking here with us today??!

Yours Sincerely,

Fretwired

Dear Brian May,

You willingly agreed to an interview with Krissi Murison to promote a 3D book - I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

I bet she was humming 'Don't stop me now' as she filed the story.

Yours

Fret

Dopesick

Dear Foreigner

To answer your questions...first of all, here you go:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love

Erm...as for your second request...that is quite inappropriate as I am currently waiting for the bus. I don't think the old age pensioners on the no 80 will appreciate me trying to shaft their groceries.

However just go to youporn or whatever and you'll see a LOT of it. Knock yourself off...er, I mean out.

Kind Regards

Sick, Dope

Handsome_Chris

Dear George Harrison,

Life is the name of the game, and I want to play the game with you. 

All the best

The Kid Handsome

Handsome_Chris

Dear Mr Pickett,

To answer your question, I only like crap music. That good music is just not for me.

Kind regards,

Norris McWhirter
Argentina

TheBlueWolf

Dear Queen,

Regarding your question as to whether this is real life or just fantasy, I'm still not sure. Neither is my therapist, but I've got my own self hugging jacket.

Wibble!

TheBlueWolf

Lewy

Dear Mr Waters,

As much as I hate to be a stickler, I think you will find that " M, A child, N" spells "machildn", not "Man" as you seem to be claiming.

best regards.

slacker

Mr Smith

Some of us like Friday as well.

Chris

Bridgehouse

Dear Bucks Fizz,

You have clearly never used Photoshop.

Yours,

richardhomer

Dear Bridgehouse,

Have you ever considered packing in this complex guitar malarkey and taking up bass instead?

Yours,

Your guitar teacher

Lewy

Dear Mssrs Gibb, Gibb and Gibb,

To answer your question, I am recovering from a fractured pelvis. What is more, my surgeon says that your suggested course of action is absolutely the worst thing I could try and do at this point.

breakstuff

Dear Lionel Richie,

Just a quick letter to answer your question.

I'm not actually looking for anyone.I've just come round to read your gas metre,you weirdo.

Besides,you're not my type.

Kind regards,

M.Iserable B'stard.

HAL9000

Dear Mr Ure,

The feeling is gone. You mean nothing to me.

Harvey Enner.

Almach

Dear Mr. Meatloaf,

    It will cost £36 for a deed poll to change your name to "The Artist Formerly Known as Mince".

regards, HM Register Office

Nunogilberto

Dear Mr Ezra,

You’ll not be riding shotgun with me. Take your irksome baritone voice elsewhere.

Many thanks.

Hattigol

Dear Miss Lennox.

I don't know, sorry.

Regards.

Gassage

Dear J. Lynne Esq, Birmingham,

Shall I tell you where I am?

And re going wrong, the Brexit vote is a good place to look.

Yrs

TFB