Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

Nunogilberto

Dear Joe Jackson,

Yes she is. What a pisser, eh?

Cheers,

NG.

imalone

Dear Jarvis,

I'm sorry I missed your meet-up, maybe you could do another one in the year 2015?

All the best,
Deborah.

P.S. Yes, it meant nothing to me.
P.P.S. Thank you very much for writing a song that will always remind me just how old I am.

Emp_Fab

Dear Mr De-Burgh,

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Yours sincerely,

Everyone.

Hootsmon

Dear uglee Bros ( the proclaimers)

is John Major your Da?

HAL9000

Dear Mr Wyman,

Thirteen. Unlucky eh?

Yours etc.

richardhomer

Dear David (I understand you object to 'Dave' these days?)

Sorry the Lazy J didn't work out - put it in the classifieds here. I'll soon sell and should bring you enough cash to treat 'Pete' to a new Dymo machine.

Hope we can agree that they'll be no
more 'cutting room floor' albums?

Kind regards...

Nunogilberto

Dear Rihanna,

Yes I am, yes I can.

Kind Regards,

NG.

hywelg

Dear Mr Plant,

Lend her the money. Oh and you might want to talk to Stannah after all these years she might not manage stairs.

Regards

H

hywelg

Dear Elvis,

Leave the f***ing tramp alone. Have some dignity, now walk the f**k out.

Gassage

Dear K West, Yup, we should support Beyoncé over Beck as she needs 4 people to write a nursery rhyme whereas Beck plays 14 instruments to perfection. Yo, in music, The Big G.

HAL9000

Dear Mr Clapton, 

For someone who didn't shoot the deputy you seem to know an awful lot about it. Just saying. 

 Yours etc.

scrumhalf

Dear Mr Frampton

No, I don't feel like you do.

Gassage

Dear Messers S Harley and C Rebel,

I intend to, but don't count on it as I'm a baliff.

Yours
Clark of Courts.

bingefeller

Dear M Bolan, 

Life is not a gas.

Cheers, 

Bingefeller.

Hootsmon

Dear Mr MC Hammer

I wouldn't want to,thanks

Gassage

Dear J-Zed

She just shagged you best mate so now you've 100, you twat

Yours,

The Gass.

xmrchi

Dear Rhianna, please for the love of God, just stop. You have made your point.

Hootsmon

Dear Rolf

your horse just died

randomhandclaps

Dear Courtney,

Whilst I understand your are reticent, after studying the photo below I feel you should maybe reconsider the offer of a makeover.

http://www2.pictures.fp.zimbio.com/Courtney+Love+Shopping+Malibu+C9_ZRK1Fn-Vl.jpg

Yours (not literally, obviously)

RHC.

eventhelosers

Dear Mrs Warwick

Please see the attached.

Kind regards.

ETL