Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

noisepolluter

Dear Van,

No. No, you haven't, and frankly, you've got some ground to make up.

NP

thisisguitar

Dear Audioslave,

http://www.wikihow.com/Live

Yours

TIS

Nunogilberto

Dear Mr Fish,

No. Fuck off.

Regards,

Kayleigh.

Hootsmon

Dear Mr Page

see you in court

bluesman

mike_l

Dear Mr The Edge

Do you think you could write one guitar part without using a shedloads of effects pedals. And please can you change your singer, as he's a cock.

Many thanks

Everyone

 

thecolourbox

Dear Ground Control

No I haven't had an accident in the last three years, and I don't have any loans that I was missold PPI on, so I am going to put the phone down now.

Thanks

Major Tom

PS , tell the papers I quite like TM Lewin usually, But I get the Primark cheap ones usually for day to day

viz

Dear Simon,

Actually it's Reema Ruspoli.

Rgds, Viz.

randomhandclaps

Dear Mr McCartney,

As handsome, witty and charming as you are, maybe your money is still the most appealing thing for them.  It can't buy you love but you've probably realised it comes in handy for a quiet divorce.

Yours,

RHC

xSkarloey

Dear Mr Lennon, I represent Miss Essie Snurlsson in whose flat you stayed the night on Friday last. I have been authorised to reclaim damages to the value of 12 shillings and 6 pence as a result of your reckless and frankly foolish setting fire to some antique ornaments which belonged to Miss Snurlsson's father. She asks me to add that, on the contrary, it was not a "good" thing to do. Yours, Adolphus Skarloey.

dafuzz

Dear Ms Lennox

Because I said so

dafuzz

EricTheWeary

Dear Katrina, I am sorry to hear of your injury and what sound like horrific burns to your feet. However, under the terms of your Personal Injury policy this is exempted by clause 7.23 Acts of God and so there is no compensation payable in this case.Yours, Claims Dept. Allianz.

Hootsmon

Dear Yoko

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Hootsmon

Dear Dylan

Quinn's here

Deadman

Dear Mr Marr.
Please disregard those know-nowts on The Fretboard.
You're fucking brill and I love you.
Love
Deadman.

imalone

hootsmon said:

Dear Yoko

Nooooooooooooooooooooo

Onooooooooooooooooooooo?

Hootsmon

Dear Gary Glitter

Nah........fuck yer gang

hungrymark

Dear Mr Starr,

In response to your recent query, it has proven to be a useful, albeit unsophisticated, technique for solving border disputes and enacting regime change in the Middle-East.

Yours,
The Foreign Office

hungrymark

Dear Mr Springsteen,

Actually, I think you'll find you were born merely as a vehicle for your DNA, of which you are the physical manifestation that has adapted over billions of years to procreate and ensure its continued survival.

Yours, Richard Dawkins

hungrymark

Dear Ms Osborne,

Then he would be able to find his way home, because he is omniscient.

Yours, the AA

Hootsmon

hungrymark said:

Dear Ms Osborne,

Then he would be able to find his way home, because he is omniscient.

Yours, the AA

I'm off now tae look that word up

Mrs O