Guitarist-isms that make you cringe

Bidley

"This guitar is rubbish" it's not a bag of rotting food waste or the contents of a bin is it?! GAWD!!

"This guitar is nice" what, did it ask you if you wanted help with your shopping?! GAWD!!

Also, I'm quite sure I've read people relentlessly whinge about the description "plays like butter", 500 times more than I've seen it written in earnest.

usedtobe

I'm a rhythm guitarist..

dindude

This thread makes me cringe. Bunch of wingeing gits (btw git is short for guitar )

EdGrip

I tend to be annoyed by the unknowing or unthinking use of Americanisms, in any context. It has to do with the fact that in the endlessly-shrinking world that we occupy, exposure to mass media is eroding local dialects, and I like local dialects because they are diverse and interesting and joyous. Whenever a really broad Norfolk old Norfolk ol' boy dies, it means there are fewer people who speak with such a strong accent as him, or who use the words for certain things that he does. Now, this is a tricky area that I have mixed feelings about - whatever course the evolution of language takes, is the right course, by definition. It's no use trying to push back the tide or force your children to waste their fleeting youth on learning your father's lovely-but-obsolete language. Wales, northern Scotland, I'm looking at you.

BUT, I hypocritically also don't want these dialects and accents to die simply because a couple of generations watched and loved Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey or The One Where Monica Has Issues With Math, and whenever someone says "school me", or "dove" instead of "dived", or even - sorry, I do it too - "awesome", I feel our myriad idiosyncratic national speech patterns get stabbed in the gut, and I can't help but feel sad. 

To the people whingeing about the whingeing on this thread - doesn't stuff like this interest you? Isn't it a legitimate thing to talk about?

Bidley

I must admit, I make a point of correcting people when they say "math". It's plural.

Tex Mexico

Yeah.

"Player's guitar": This once-valuable guitar has been butchered by an amateur electrician, refinished by a blind man and transported in a bin bag attached to the rear axle of my car - but I have to think up some kind of way to pretend that somehow makes it better than a guitar in pristine condition, so there you are.

The other one is just listing what is clearly an EPIPHONE as "by Gibson" or just putting the word Gibson in front of Epiphone or in some cases not even bothering to include the word Epiphone. I still can't figure out what anyone hopes to achieve by doing that. They're two companies owned by the same people, and that make similar products. When you sell your VW do you advertise it as a Porsche?

Beyond that, frankly, and as evidenced by our friend Mark D Phillips (Guitar Ruiner/Destroyer, Phillips Craptone Conversions), what grates for me is when people use the incorrect jargon for guitars in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Point to it, describe it in normal language or use the accepted terminology. Telling me that your "Fender Esquier Strato" has "tonal dials" fitted to its "scratchguard" near the "cable insert" just makes you sound like a try-hard dumbass.

usedtobe

We're just about to sell our VW, so thanks for the tip!

sm55onl

...when my mate is trying to sell me his lovely vintage Strat / Les Paul [Custom] / 330[5]...

’Find another !?!!’
[There’s very little comeback to that...]

AndyJP

Is it true bypass?

Btrcu

Tex Mexico said:

Yeah.

"Player's guitar": This once-valuable guitar has been butchered by an amateur electrician, refinished by a blind man and transported in a bin bag attached to the rear axle of my car - but I have to think up some kind of way to pretend that somehow makes it better than a guitar in pristine condition, so there you are.

The other one is just listing what is clearly an EPIPHONE as "by Gibson" or just putting the word Gibson in front of Epiphone or in some cases not even bothering to include the word Epiphone. I still can't figure out what anyone hopes to achieve by doing that. They're two companies owned by the same people, and that make similar products. When you sell your VW do you advertise it as a Porsche?

Beyond that, frankly, and as evidenced by our friend Mark D Phillips (Guitar Ruiner/Destroyer, Phillips Craptone Conversions), what grates for me is when people use the incorrect jargon for guitars in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Point to it, describe it in normal language or use the accepted terminology. Telling me that your "Fender Esquier Strato" has "tonal dials" fitted to its "scratchguard" near the "cable insert" just makes you sound like a try-hard dumbass.

Slightly off topic but in the same vein, but since when has "I couldn't care less" become "I could care less"? It gives the phrase a completely different meaning and is usually rendered pointless in the context of its usage because the person saying it actually usually means "I couldn't care less". Seems quite prevalent in the under 25s.

ThePrettyDamned

Btrcu said:

Tex Mexico said:

Yeah.

"Player's guitar": This once-valuable guitar has been butchered by an amateur electrician, refinished by a blind man and transported in a bin bag attached to the rear axle of my car - but I have to think up some kind of way to pretend that somehow makes it better than a guitar in pristine condition, so there you are.

The other one is just listing what is clearly an EPIPHONE as "by Gibson" or just putting the word Gibson in front of Epiphone or in some cases not even bothering to include the word Epiphone. I still can't figure out what anyone hopes to achieve by doing that. They're two companies owned by the same people, and that make similar products. When you sell your VW do you advertise it as a Porsche?

Beyond that, frankly, and as evidenced by our friend Mark D Phillips (Guitar Ruiner/Destroyer, Phillips Craptone Conversions), what grates for me is when people use the incorrect jargon for guitars in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Point to it, describe it in normal language or use the accepted terminology. Telling me that your "Fender Esquier Strato" has "tonal dials" fitted to its "scratchguard" near the "cable insert" just makes you sound like a try-hard dumbass.

Slightly off topic but in the same vein, but since when has "I couldn't care less" become "I could care less"? It gives the phrase a completely different meaning and is usually rendered pointless in the context of its usage because the person saying it actually usually means "I couldn't care less". Seems quite prevalent in the under 25s.

It's an American thing.

I don't know where it comes from - I always thought it was accent making "couldn't" sound like "could" but they type it the same way online so I'm not sure.

Maybe they really care and they want us to know! 

viz

ThePrettyDamned said:

Btrcu said:

Tex Mexico said:

Yeah.

"Player's guitar": This once-valuable guitar has been butchered by an amateur electrician, refinished by a blind man and transported in a bin bag attached to the rear axle of my car - but I have to think up some kind of way to pretend that somehow makes it better than a guitar in pristine condition, so there you are.

The other one is just listing what is clearly an EPIPHONE as "by Gibson" or just putting the word Gibson in front of Epiphone or in some cases not even bothering to include the word Epiphone. I still can't figure out what anyone hopes to achieve by doing that. They're two companies owned by the same people, and that make similar products. When you sell your VW do you advertise it as a Porsche?

Beyond that, frankly, and as evidenced by our friend Mark D Phillips (Guitar Ruiner/Destroyer, Phillips Craptone Conversions), what grates for me is when people use the incorrect jargon for guitars in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Point to it, describe it in normal language or use the accepted terminology. Telling me that your "Fender Esquier Strato" has "tonal dials" fitted to its "scratchguard" near the "cable insert" just makes you sound like a try-hard dumbass.

Slightly off topic but in the same vein, but since when has "I couldn't care less" become "I could care less"? It gives the phrase a completely different meaning and is usually rendered pointless in the context of its usage because the person saying it actually usually means "I couldn't care less". Seems quite prevalent in the under 25s.

It's an American thing.

I don't know where it comes from - I always thought it was accent making "couldn't" sound like "could" but they type it the same way online so I'm not sure.

Maybe they really care and they want us to know! 

You can just about twist it to mean something approaching what’s meant if you say it like this:

Well, I could care less (but I probably won’t)

carlos

I don't think it's an American thing. It's wrong in any version of English. Probably became popular as the last syllable of "couldn't" is often silent or unheard and then that carries over to writing.

Lewy

Btrcu said:

Tex Mexico said:

Yeah.

"Player's guitar": This once-valuable guitar has been butchered by an amateur electrician, refinished by a blind man and transported in a bin bag attached to the rear axle of my car - but I have to think up some kind of way to pretend that somehow makes it better than a guitar in pristine condition, so there you are.

The other one is just listing what is clearly an EPIPHONE as "by Gibson" or just putting the word Gibson in front of Epiphone or in some cases not even bothering to include the word Epiphone. I still can't figure out what anyone hopes to achieve by doing that. They're two companies owned by the same people, and that make similar products. When you sell your VW do you advertise it as a Porsche?

Beyond that, frankly, and as evidenced by our friend Mark D Phillips (Guitar Ruiner/Destroyer, Phillips Craptone Conversions), what grates for me is when people use the incorrect jargon for guitars in an attempt to sound knowledgeable. Point to it, describe it in normal language or use the accepted terminology. Telling me that your "Fender Esquier Strato" has "tonal dials" fitted to its "scratchguard" near the "cable insert" just makes you sound like a try-hard dumbass.

Slightly off topic but in the same vein, but since when has "I couldn't care less" become "I could care less"? It gives the phrase a completely different meaning and is usually rendered pointless in the context of its usage because the person saying it actually usually means "I couldn't care less". Seems quite prevalent in the under 25s.

It’s just adding a layer of sarcasm to the original phrase isn’t it? “I couldn’t care less” is literal”. “I could care less” is sarcastic as in “oh right because I could really care less about that thing”.

HAL9000

Things people assert with no actual proof but they read it on the internet…

Nowhere to hide with a Telecaster
Through-body stringing improves sustain
Old Korean and Japanese Squiers are the dog’s danglies 

HAL9000

Geee-tar

MagicPigDetective

Lick

carlos

MagicPigDetective said:

Lick

Hate to correct you, but that's not a guitarism. The term is used for other instruments, too, and before it was used for guitar stuff.

ThePrettyDamned

I'm a much more relaxed person than I was when I started this thread.

fretfinder

Lester…