My CITES nightmare

lewism

Slightly tongue in cheek (left upper) title as the process is still ongoing.  I’ve seen lots of ‘The sky is falling, it’s the end of being able to bring rosewood into the country’ type posts across a few topics following the updates to the CITES regulations and always took them with a pinch of salt – my glass is usually half full and I’m a firm believer that things are only ever a problem if you let them be.  To that end, I wasn’t deterred from ordering a guitar from abroad so here’s my story so far.  I consider it a service to the forum rather than just me buying a guitar!

CHRISB50

Unless I'm missing something. You're not much of a story teller.

lewism

With 40 looming on the horizon, I knew that I wanted a nice guitar – something old and with a rosewood fretboard.  In the UK, the market for this sort of thing specialises in sharks, inflated prices and a hefty dose of caveat emptor.  Back in the mid Nineties, a pre-internet 17 year old lewism knew that he wanted an old Marshall and took £250 earned flipping burgers in McDonalds and bought a then relatively unfashionable Marshall Superbass from a great shop he’d been recommended.  The shop was in Doncaster.  With hindsight, bugger although having properly checked it over with the benefit of a lot more available knowledge, I don’t think I came out too badly.  Needless to say though, I didn’t want to do that again.

lewism

CHRISB50 said:

Unless I'm missing something. You're not much of a story teller.

You may be missing some patience, unless you really want to read a massive wall of text!

lewism

So, I cast my net wider and looked abroad.  Obviously, America’s where it’s at but as recently discussed a lot of US dealers can’t be bothered to sell abroad at the moment and will just wait for a domestic sale.  Fortunately, Reverb can be set to show only results that will ship to the UK and my watch list soon filled up with objects of desire.  I researched the dealers for each and anything that smelled “a bit Doncaster” got discounted.  I got further details on a couple of the guitarsbut wasn’t expecting to go through with anything for a while as my birthday’s in August

BloodEagle

CITEmare

lewism

Thanks, Bloodeagle. Theagle.

bodhi

Seems more like sequential flashbacks than a nightmare 

lewism

Or, you know, a story. Art’s wasted on you lot.

hassleham

When is the next instalment?! I’m so exCITEd

lewism

On Christmas day morning, my phone flashed an alert from Reverb – an item I was watching was in their 15% off sale.  What had been a good price suddenly became a very good chance.  I was away from home and couldn’t really do anything about it until the Friday.  It would surely be gone by then.  Anyway come Friday, and with family obligations fulfilled, Mslewism and I were having our own Christmas meal together when another alert flashes up – the sale finished earlier than I’d thought. Meal finished and wine being drunk I nipped off, grabbed my card, checked the guitar was still available and ordered.  Card rejected.  Try again.  Card rejected.  Phone rings and I tell the bank that yes, I really am trying to do that.  Try again, bank balance much reduced.

lewism

 soon got an email from Luigi in New York asking for contact details.  New York area dealer.  Luigi.  Many, many lazy stereotypes run through my mind.  My “it’ll be fine” internal mantra started to sound a little nervous.  Still, New Year passed and they were putting the paperwork in at their end.  Two weeks after I place my order, I received an email telling me they’d got their paperwork approved and the guitar was ready to ship.  I sprung into action like a Cheetah on a trampoline.

crunchman

lewism said:

 soon got an email from Luigi in New York asking for contact details.  New York area dealer.  Luigi.  Many, many lazy stereotypes run through my mind.  My “it’ll be fine” internal mantra started to sound a little nervous.  Still, New Year passed and they were putting the paperwork in at their end.  Two weeks after I place my order, I received an email telling me they’d got their paperwork approved and the guitar was ready to ship.  I sprung into action like a Cheetah on a trampoline.

With phrases like that you must be Jeremy Clarkson masquerading as a guitarist.

lewism

It’s nicked from a very old Dilbert comic, but I’ve been looking for an opportunity to use it for years!

lewism

Back to the thrilling action.  I downloaded the form (FED0172) and the guidance notes from the APHA website.  It’s basically a one page form, although it’s seemingly geared more to people who want to import a Panda than a guitar.  It’s not brilliantly designed, but there are guidance notes that pretty much tell you what to do, including to supply a copy of the exporters certificate and how to sign electronically if sending via email – there seems to be an expectation that a fair proportion of the forms they’ll receive will have been printed out, handwritten and posted in accompanied by a cheque for payment which suggests they’re possibly stuck in about 2002 or are expecting an application from my Dad.  I knew I had to pay before submitting the form and wanted the process to move as efficiently as possible so I phoned the number provided and spoke to a helpful woman who took payment over the phone (“A guitar?  So rosewood then”.  Hmm, I may not have been the first person to do this…).  £74 and ten minutes later, I had an email confirming that I’d paid my fee and it was time to put the form in.

rawk100

Hurry up....I need a wee!.....

not_the_dj

Ad break?

photek

It better be a vintage Gibson after all this

hubobulous

rawk100 said:

Hurry up....I need a wee!.....

Stay where you are and enjoy that warm sensation

lewism

You want everything right away, that’s your problem! Yeah, I know it’s a bit wordy but you’ll have to live with it. Anyway:
In a turn of events that would have surprised the aforementioned 17 year old lewism, I didn’t end up a wildly successful amalgam of John Entwhistle, Kris Novoselic and Nicky Wire but rather a Technical Manager in the food industry.  I also ended up playing guitar rather than bass.  Among other things, a significant proportion of my job is ensuring that records are kept and completed correctly and would stand up in a court.  I’m not too bad at it, I even audit other companies to ensure that they’re doing it correctly. I made sure to include as much detail as possible in my description of the guitar – make, model, serial number, year of manufacture, what on the guitar was rosewood etc, the fact that it was made in the USA and had been there ever since – I made sure it was bulletproof. Predictably, I’d not filled thisform in quite properly.  Two hours after I submitted the form via email, I received one back from APHA telling me what I’d done wrong and that I needed to resubmit.  After quite a few years in the working world, the email struck me as oddly formal in tone , again as though going back in time about 20 years.  I strongly suspect that whoever sent me the email wears a tie to work, and quite a plain one at that.  Anyway, I updated the form, attached a copy of the US CITES paperwork and resubmitted on Wednesday 17th, which brings the story up to date.

lewism

So far, I’m not in a Kafkaesque world of unanswered questions and endless, faceless uncaring bureaucracy, stymied at every turn.  Most of the difference to previous purchases from the US is the waiting for forms to be approved.  I’m lucky mine got done before the US Government shutdown I suppose.  Having submitted payment over the phone and the form via email I’ve got a sneaking suspicion that I’m going to receive my reply through the post (largely because, upon re-reading the APHA website, it appears that this is what they state will happen).  The form filling cost £74 at my end – not a huge amount in the context of what I’m buying but it’d probably put you off importing a second hand Squier.