Devastating News

thomasross20

 
Folk say we shold get heating and electricity in ours (does yours have that?) but I like how it doesn't. Ours is 2.5m * 2.5m - so yours is massive!! Is it attached to the house itself? I find it's a place to sit in... and fall asleep while watching a water feature turn..

I'd replace, to be honest. Get rid of the old and in with the new, life's too short!

ToneControl

thomasross20 said:

 
Folk say we shold get heating and electricity in ours (does yours have that?) but I like how it doesn't. Ours is 2.5m * 2.5m - so yours is massive!! Is it attached to the house itself? I find it's a place to sit in... and fall asleep while watching a water feature turn..

I'd replace, to be honest. Get rid of the old and in with the new, life's too short!

it's at the end of the garden
It has proper electricity, I had to run 70m or armoured cable to it, but you can only run 2 heaters off that, so you can't get it warm once it gets really cold, although there has been winter sleepovers with 6-7 teenagers in it, but I assume they generate heat too

My mate wanted to fit a wood burning stove, but I thought it was too much trouble and risk
I refused to install a TV, so we get actual real 121 time in there instead. Nice to play acoustic guitar in too

here's a photo of the 5m x 4m they sell now:
https://content.gardenbuildingsdirect.co.uk/images/products/9010/maingallery/village_hall_interlocking_tongueandgroove_logcabin_l01.jpg?t=17102017

I know someone else who has a similar one and keeps it as a TV and music-playing room (i.e. guitar jams)

TTony

^^ Nice @tonecontrol.

MrsTT and I have a pair of walkie talkies.  If I'm in my workshop, or out somewhere in the garden ... I can ignore her wherever!

ToneControl

TTony said:

^^ Nice @tonecontrol.

MrsTT and I have a pair of walkie talkies.  If I'm in my workshop, or out somewhere in the garden ... I can ignore her wherever!

It currently contains:

• 3 sofas
  
• 2 armchairs
• beer fridge
• heaters
• 2 chests of drawers
• dimmable GU10 ceiling lights
• persian rugs
• custom windowsill shelves to help with wine or beer glasses 
• wifi repeater (remember Maslow's revised hierarchy of needs:

https://www.timemachinego.com/linkmachinego/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/hierarchy-of-needs-wifi.jpg

just found this recent variation:

https://flatchat.files.wordpress.com/2015/05/bvzcjdhcmaaurgq.jpg

thomasross20

Lol @TTony !

Oh wow @ToneControl !! Huge!! 
We got uPVC one so hopefully low maintenance. 

Bridgehouse

We just got a Ring Wireless doorbell. Connects to your wireless and then it rings on your phone - you can answer it, see them, and talk to them.

I asked the postie to leave a package in the porch whilst in Morrisons earlier.....

thomasross20

Oh cool! Right, I'll need to get something like that in future.

Emp_Fab

They sound great!  I wonder if they also make a angry wasp dispenser attachment?  I could remotely terrorise the jehovas witnesses then!

thomasross20

Why are you up at 4.30am?  
Been up since 4am helping Sheena to the toilet and giving her pain relief, can't get back to sleep.
I just saw Extreme are playing Glasgow in December but there's no chance of me getting to that. Bummer!

TTony

thomasross20 said:

Why are you up at 4.30am?  

he'll have just got in - party animal!

Emp_Fab

Nah.  I've got lots on my mind at the moment, all relatively trivial - mum's house sale going on, ours needs a clear out, tons of stuff needing doing with the band and work are sending me away from home all week every week.  There's only so much you can do from a premier Inn.  It'll all get sorted though.  Just a long 'to do' list that's getting longer faster than I can make it shorter!

Nitefly

Yeah, you never really want to get to the end of your "to-do" list...

thomasross20

She can barely walk now, a lot of real "caring" is given by me. The worst thing is that she is getting a lot more confused. It only started happening today. Forgetting what day it is, saying she's put something in the oven, thinking it's night time, saying it's time to go out etc. That's the worst part.

Evilmags

All you can do is what your doing. Stay strong and make sure someone is looking out for you. 

thomasross20

Got nurse in tomorrow so will make sure I get some good advice

TheOtherDennis

And ffs make sure you get some rest yourself, Tom. Seriously, it's staggeringly easy to forget that you need to give yourself some space - there's no point in both of you being ill. And it will make you ill if you don't take time off, even if it's only an hour or so a day.

I speak from experience. I may not be in your position exactly in terms of your good lady's illness, but I've been where you are in terms of the amount of caring needed. While the desire and feeling of duty to stay and do everything for her is so overwhelming you don't even consider it as anything other than "Well it has to be done, you know", you must, simply must take breaks and let yourself recover. You really don't understand how much this takes out of you until you take a break. It's so easy to get subsumed and forget to take care of yourself, I've been there and I know what it can do to you.

I'm sure other people have said the same thing on here (don't have time to read everything, sorry), but you must listen to them.

Please, Tom, give yourself some time, too.

Teyeplayer

thomasross20 said:

She can barely walk now, a lot of real "caring" is given by me. The worst thing is that she is getting a lot more confused. It only started happening today. Forgetting what day it is, saying she's put something in the oven, thinking it's night time, saying it's time to go out etc. That's the worst part.

Dude my heart goes out to you both. It feels trite saying it, but my thoughts are with you, both of you. 

thomasross20

Good to hear from you, Dennis! 
And thanks to everyone who always comments on this, you are good people.

It's hard because I want to do it all and these are her last days and I want to be there for every second. I'll never get that time back. Her sisters come round every week so I do go for a walk for an hour or so. I dare say I am "too" involved and will be quite a mess afterward as she has given me everything and to not have her in my life will be very, very, very difficult for me. I'm an "all or nothing" person so the grief will be intense, I know it already. I've put up a barrier because I can't break down when she needs me most, so I power on through everything and just "get it done," like you say. So I'll do whatever it takes. 

She's changed her mind about hospice - unless it's 100% necessary she wants to pass away in our new home. Everybody that knows us knows how good we are for each other. I'm glad to love and eventually "lose," and it's sad I have too many years to look back on all this. I wrote my piece for her funeral a day or two ago and read it to her; she wanted to hear it before she passes. 

Maybe I'm taking rubbish but I think sometimes I want to punish myself, for leaving marriage and the house too late, for living on when she's dying of cancer. I think there's a small part of everybody in this type of situation who just wants to "go" at the same time as their partner due to the intense feelings.

I have admittedly been quite exhausted lately and with a sore back, put on a teeny bit of weight, and I swear I've lost even more hair lol..!! I'll go down the steps too quick and fall or let something slip like a hot cooking pot and burn myself and it's mental and physical tiredness. Thank heavens I'm young enough to have some puff in me! Sheena would do the same for me. But I won't compromise her care, when Sheena needs two people to care for her, I'll get one of her sisters in or get her daughter's to help or get a stay over nurse. 

I often think.. what else is there to life? I've got a house, a car, a job, my education, I finally did play in a band, learnt guitar to an ok degree, been on holiday, met Sheena and got married.. If I got run over by a bus tomorrow I can say I've lived a good and full life already. The only things I can think to aim for are taking care of the girls and releasing this album I've been working on since forever!

 I'm going to have to start sleeping downstairs on the couch, where the hospital bed is.. now that she's starting to get confused. She's to my right just now, sleeping. In the corner are some red roses - I buy some every week for her. Oh, her son visited the other day. He could see her condition but chooses to make one two hour visit when he has two weeks off, doesn't bring any flowers, rolls his eyes at getting a photo taken, checks his watch frequently, doesn't "help" and tells Sheena how he's going dancing one night, hiking the next, out with friends the night after.. it beggars belief. She deserves much better. 

It's not like in the films. There's no emotional closure or goodbye or whatever.. it's just a gradual decline while life goes on for everybody else and you're left to get on with it. God I feel I'm talking such rubbish now, I'm sure you know what I'm saying. In many ways I like knowing I'm the primary care giver Anna loves those moments at 3am where I help her and hold her hand until she sleeps, just her and I. While there's is support from here and elsewhere though, I also feel alone and it's a dark and crushing feeling when I'm on my own. But there's more to come so I'd best get on with it. Oh and the whole euthanasia thing I hinted at before.. I don't believe in people suffering but her pain has been under control and she's had many good moments so I can see how it's a grey issue.

How is everything with you anyway, Dennis?

richardhomer

Thomas - don’t even think about what ‘life is about’ - because what life is ultimately about is doing the best you can.

No one reading what you’ve just posted could doubt that is exactly what you’re doing.....

thomasross20

I just saw Sheena's youngest daughter defending her older (by one year) sister after she got the blame for something she didn't do. She's easy to scapegoat because she has a mental disability. The youngest daughter has always been "older" in that sense, sticking up for her sister. Those two girls are brilliant, they make me really proud.