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I've been meaning to write to you for a while now.I was thinking that as we're now both older and wiser I think it could be time to bury the hatchet.Life's too short for petty squabbles.With this in mind I was wondering if you'd consider getting the original band back together.All the other guys are up for it including Steven and Izzy.
I've got loads of riffs written and have even started on some lyrics but I'm struggling to finish them off.
The song starts,
"Who ate all the pies?"
"Who ate all the pies?"
Looking forward to your input.
Regards Slash.
Dear Sir Mixalot
Me too.
Regards
LTR
Having heard your intention repeated in the chorus of one of your hits, our only advice would be for you to proceed as fast as possible towards the sun at the merest hint of it setting.
Of course we cannot vouch for the effects of travelling continually on the body, and suggest that sleep deprivation and motion sickness may result at some stage.
Yours,
Royal Astronomical Society;
Royal College of GPs;
Nookie Bear.
I have been busking at various tube stations for some time now and cannot help but feel I'd have made more money with my acoustic renditions of Oasis tunes if you hadn't promised punters a fucking brass band that never materialised.
Thanks, prick.
B. Foxton.
Dear Mr Weller
Sorry about the other night, please find enclosed a bottle of proseco and a lamb bhuna (heated to optimum temperature).
May I also suggest that next time, you take a cab?
Best wishes
A. Mugger
Dear Mr Lee Lewis
A topical cream and a bag of ice should clear that right up.
Yours sincerely
NHS inDirect
Yes, yes, it's me, now is there any chance of you opening this frigging door and letting me in?!
Yours,
Metal Guru
Dear Mr Cobain
Thanks for the invitation but could you please clarify the dress code? Should I wear what I've got on now, what I was wearing earlier or an outfit of your choosing?
Yours etc
Dear Ian Brown
I have a phobia of acrostics, any suggestions?
Regards.....
And I'm spent.
Dear Mr R Waters
Yes there is someone in here, I can hear, you and if you opened your eyes you'd see that I'm nodding.
Thanks
Mike
Ringleader of the Cambridge cartel, pedal champ and king of the dirt boxes (down to 21)
Would you kindly refrain from continually kissing me.I don't like it.
Yours,
This Guy.