Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

meltedbuzzbox

Gassage said:

I will go first.

Dear Miss K Perry,

Further to your communication and answering the question as posed:-

No, I have never felt like a plastic bag.

Ever.

I hope this clears up any confusion in this matter.

Nevertheless, my regard remain,

Yours sincerely,

Gassage
c/o The Fretboard.

Katy Perry can say whatever she likes as long as she shows me them epic boobies

DeeTee

Dear Mr Dexy and your Midnight Runners,

Here is my dry cleaning bill.

Regards,
Eileen.

Iamnobody

DrBob;405711" said:

Dear Mrs Morrisette,

No, since you're asking I don't think the examples cited are for the most part ironic.
Unfortunate, and in some instances tragic but not ironic

Kind Regards

DrBob

mudslide73

Dear Mr Stipe,

3.2ghz

Regards,
Kenneth.

richardhomer

Dear Mr Bowie,

I regret to advise that no life exists on Mars.

I hope this clarifies matters to your satisfaction.

RocknRollDave

Dear Messers Daltrey and Townshend,

I am RocknRollDave. You only needed to ask once, and there was no neeed for profanity.

Yours,
Dave

axisus

Dear Beyonce

I can only apologise for putting the wrong ring on it. I don't remember why I was naked at the time either. Please accept this disinfecting handwash as a peace offering.

Yours sincerely 

Axisus

Alnico

Dear Mr Weller,

None of what you mention sounds like entertainment to me and in my honest opinion, if that's the most exciting thing two lovers can find to do whilst out together, i put it to you that neither you nor the aforementioned young lovers have the slightest idea of what entertainment actually is. 

Please have a word with yourself.

Kind Regards,

Happiness.

Nunogilberto

This a brilliant thread!

Nunogilberto

Dear Miss Ferguson and Mr I Am,

In response to your recent query, we have unfortunately not been able to locate 'the love'.

However, we may be able to commit further resources to this matter if Miss Ferguson would be willing to visit our headquarters and demonstrate her previously referred to 'lady lumps' and 'humps'.

Kind Regards,

Nunogilberto

randomhandclaps

Dear Mr Townshend,

Luckily you are now of a generation where only Doctor Shipman would try and put you down.

Yours,

RHC

jellyroll

Dear Mr Mercury

No. I will certainly not do the fandango.

Yours, etc

jellyroll

Dear Mr Hendrix

Do you think you might play a litttle better if you held the guitar the right way up?

Yours, etc

jellyroll

Dear Orville

Only 2 pickups! Ha!

Yours, Leo.

jellyroll

Dear New Seekers

How's that project teaching the world to sing going?

Yours, etc

mudslide73

Dear Miss Warwick,

https://www.google.co.uk/flights/#search;f=LAX;t=SJC;q=la+to+san+jose;d=2014-11-23;r=2014-11-27

Hope this helps,

The Fretboard.

jellyroll

Dear Mr McCartney

Thank you for your recent demo tape which included the tracks Ebony & Ivory, Pipes of Peace, the Frog Chorus and Mull of Kintyre.

Although you say you were the dominant force in the Lennon/McCartney song writing partnership, we are not entirely convinced on this point.

Yours, etc.

Alnico

Dear Mr Christie

Take Interstate 40 west out of Oklahoma City and stay on it until you reach Junction 70.

Turn right onto Highway 287,

You're there.

Kind Regards

jellyroll

Dear Agnetha

Thank you. I certainly will take a chance on you.

Yours, etc.

richardhomer

@jellyroll has won the thread! Many 'lols' awarded.

And Robert Palmer, I'm glad that turning me on was unintentional.