Write an open letter of clarification to an artist of your choosing.

tone1

Dear W.A.S.P
Your Song 'I don't need no Doctor' is grammatically incorrect

Yours
Tone1

ThePrettyDamned

Dear axl rose,

Contrary to your song, I don't think I could ever be yours.

Yours,

ThePrettyDamned, c/o thefretboard.

ThePrettyDamned

Dear nicky minaj,

Shut up.

A5D5E5

Dear Mr Mercury Real life I'm afraid. I can however confirm that I am interested in your kind offer of immortality and I can thoroughly recommend eHarmony should you not wish to come home with me tonight. Yours J-Lo.

xSkarloey

Dear Mr Gallagher, 

Unfortunately I am unable to help with your request at the present time, since I write only non-fiction these days.

Yours sincerely, 

A. Morning-Glory (Mrs.)  

imalone

Dear Mr Barkley,

I am writing on behalf of my client Mr C Razy to inform you of his claims for damages in relation to revealing confidential patient information on a hit single. Full details are set out in the attached appendices A-C.

Yours,
imalone

Antique_Guitars

Skipped said:

Dear Les Paul,
On several occasions I have pointed out to posters on MyLesPaulForum that "Conversions" are not only OK.....they are amazing when done right. And.....to support my argument....I have pointed out that many of your own personal Gibson Les Pauls (probably most of your Gibson Les Pauls) were Heavily Modified in any way that you damn well chose. And that they can stick their expensive Fake/Counterfeit Single Cut guitars, and their opinions, up their arse.
I hope you don't mind when I do this.

Best Wishes
Skipped

You would be waiting a long time for a reply.................

capo4th

Dear Ian Mani Reni and John, Please can you hurry up and release some new material Yours hopefully Capo4th c/o The Fretboard

richardhomer

Dear Steve Winwood,

I saw a chance and took it - now I'm in custody.

Is there the remotest chance you will pay my bail?

kin

Dear Black Stone Cherry,

  No, I haven't seen " a blind man in disguise, looking for his eyes " and frankly I find your reference to such a tragic and implausible situation a disgrace.

Kind regards

  Kin

Dominic

Dear Jilted John

 I thought you might like to know that Julie did ,in fact ,marry Gordon whom you so rudely referred to as a " moron "

They presently reside in Monaco since Gordon sold his business to a Russian Oligarch for a sum exceeding a Billion dollars and was lucky enough to also win the Euromillions Lottery proceeds of which he gave entirely to charity

they have 5 extremely good looking athletic children who all attended Oxford acheiving first class honours degrees ,amongst them the two boys went on to become film stars and the 3 girls are international supermodels .

PS ...do you still have any tickets available for the John Shuttleworth Wigan and Burnley tour ?

Kind Regards,Dominic Elliott - Kingston

Iamnobody

Dear Mr Roderick Stewart

I am writing to inform you that I do not want you body; further more I don't think you are sexy.

Yours

S Ugar

thisisguitar

Dear Steven Tyler,

May I suggest a Sky+ box? That way you could save us from a tedious song without a guitar solo.

Yours

J Perry

thisisguitar

Dear Layne Staley,

Please accept our late clarification, Them Bones are indeed yours.

Yours

Co-op Funeral Services

breakstuff

Dear Liam,

Just so you know,I write the lyrics so when I write sunshine,you f**king sing sunshine.

That's Sun-SHINE you f**king bellend.

Lovely weather we're having today,by the way.

Lots of love,

Noel.

thisisguitar

Dear The Beatles,

With regard to your RSVP, I'm afraid I won't be able to attend your bukkake party. Although might I suggest goggles if you want to avoid the dreaded 'Joo-Joo Eyeball'.

Also if you're shooting Coca Cola you may want to pop in for a check up.

Yours

Dr Robert

Bellycaster

Dear Dolly

When ya gonna pop 'em out?

=P~

jellyroll

Dear Mr Dolce. Any news on the follow-up single? Yours,etc

Wolfetone

Dear Mr Dickinson,

I tried that number that you gave me and all I got was screaming and weird animal noises.

Can I suggest that you update your phone directory as most local numbers are six digits.

Kind regards, 

Flink_Poyd

Dear Mr Hetfield, our neurosurgery department has expressed an interest in attending your course. Do you offer a group rate discount?
Yours
Dr Brian Brainsford
Neurosurgery And Head Injuries Dept
Birmingham Children's Hospital