Devastating News

VimFuego

just to answer your cherry question, yes you can get dwarf sizes, we have one in our garden that's about fence height and gives stunning blossom, even thought it's pretty old. Modern cultivars will be much better, a good garden centre will be able to advise good varieties that will be suitable for your location. 
Sorry to be so mundane.

thomasross20

Not mundane at all @VimFuego - I don't suppose you have a picture of the tree in bloom giving an idea of its size? 
I don't know what a modern cultivar is. I shall endeavour to get this sorted in the near future.

CabbageCat

Condolences bro.

You've been there for Sheena. Now take a breath and be there for Tom.

VimFuego

you may have to wait for spring for pics in bloom, but I may be able to sort one out of it bare right now (got hosting issues), cultivar is kinda like species, but for cultivated plants, so modern species (basically, cherries were notorious for giving fantastic blossom for about 5 minutes, but modern ones have been bred to show blossom for much longer).

thomasross20

That sounds better if the bloom for longer. 
Ah, thanks so much if you get a pic up!

Kalimna

Thomas - if you are looking for a tree, I can wholeheartedly recommend Mill Garden Centre in Armadale (https://www.millgardencentre.co.uk/). They are extremely knowledgable and have an excellent stock of shrubs/trees that may be suitable (specialist in Japanese maples which though don't flower, often have truly spectacular foliage at this time of year). Failing that, Binny Plants in West Lothian are also excellent, particularly for peonies, https://www.binnyplants.com/

Take care of yourself,

Adam

underdog

thomasross20 said:

My condolences to those who have lost loved ones as written on this thread - my case isn't special (though Sheena was). Cancer and associated diseases touch everybody.

Can I just be really soppy for a moment and say your case was special, you mean a lot to a group of strangers on here and you made Sheena mean a lot to us too, add in the sheer brilliance you both showed through it all and it was special to a lot of us.

thomasross20

Thank you, @underdog .

I still can't believe she held out until my birthday. She just kept giving.

@Kalimna thank you for the specific recommendations - believe me, I'll check those out.

welshboyo

Can't really add much to what has been said here, but my thoughts are with you and the girls and also a little comfort/relief for Sheena's sake in as much as she is now out of pain and away from that dreadful disease.

I lost my Dad a few years ago to Cancer and whilst I could have told you about this earlier, it's a horrible thing to go through and a lot of the feelings you were writing about brought back memories to me.

Sheena obviously was a very strong character and as you say she was the real hero in all of this, however, you too helped make her that hero with your support, care and love.

You'll never really get "over" it, you'll just learn to deal with it and the raw feelings you are having now will recede I promise - if that makes sense.

Just please please please take some time out for yourself, have your "me, me, me" moment - you deserve it and probably more importantly you NEED it!!

I found that doing all of the legal bits around stuff like this also helped - it helped to focus the mind on other things even though what you are focusing on are directly related.

Oh and the tree thing is a wonderful idea!!

joeyowen

Please keep writing Thomas.

Weve all read the worst part of your life, and I for one would love to read the future and see the pieces rebuild (no matter how long it will take). There will be good and bad times ahead, and we will all do our best to support it all 

Bridgehouse

You don't need anyone's permission to keep writing mate!

I will keep reading and responding for as long as you keep writing.

Snap

Tom, you write as much as you like in here mate. You are amongst friends.

speshul91

I really don't know what say apart from you have my heartfelt condolences,you really are an inspiration Tom.

Even though I never had the pleasure of meeting Sheena i hope she is in a better place away from that hellish disease, your strength through all of this has been awe inspiring but please let people help you now.

This thread is a big part of why i signed up for stand up to cancers gaming marathon, if it is ok with you i would like to dedicate it to both of you.

Please don't stop updating this thread, it has deeply touched all of us and even though it might not seem like it now but there is a huge amount of help and support here waiting for you.

much love Adam x

thomasross20

Oh god, the suit she wanted to wear won't fit her.. do I go to Glasgow to chance getting a similar one.. or just get one from M&S or similar and put the one she wanted in their with her.. awful..

@speshul91 ; of course, honoured!

speshul91

thomasross20 said:

Oh god, the suit she wanted to wear won't fit her.. do I go to Glasgow to chance getting a similar one.. or just get one from M&S or similar and put the one she wanted in their with her.. awful..

Is there any way of having it made bigger where it needs to be?

Evilmags

thomasross20 said:

Oh god, the suit she wanted to wear won't fit her.. do I go to Glasgow to chance getting a similar one.. or just get one from M&S or similar and put the one she wanted in their with her.. awful..

@speshul91 ; of course, honoured!

Can you get it altered? 

speshul91

thomasross20 said:

Oh god, the suit she wanted to wear won't fit her.. do I go to Glasgow to chance getting a similar one.. or just get one from M&S or similar and put the one she wanted in their with her.. awful..

@speshul91 ; of course, honoured!

It's me that's honoured.
http://thefretboard.co.uk/discussion/116250/gaming-marathon-for-cancer-research#latest

there's a few details on there for anyone thats interested, I will edit my just giving page soon I'm looking after my youngest step-daughter while she is off school but it will be done today.

Jalapeno

Take care of yourself and the two girls amigo !

thomasross20

Funeral director says it's possible to alter but strongly advised getting something that would fit better. I'll do that today. 

Blackjack

Tommy, please keep posting. It will help you to write your feelings down and we all want to help and support you.

I lost my beloved dad in April, so whilst a very different relationship I can kinda understand how you are feeling.  Please, please take all the time you need for you and your emotions. Sadly people tend to have unrealistic expectations of grief but please ignore them.  Nobody, not even you, can know how grief is going to manifest itself. It strikes when you least expect it. I have good days and awful ones. If you ever need an ear you can always PM me, I will help all I can.