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I know it's confirmation bias because it tallies with my experience, but the fact it happens at all makes me scared to give myself to anybody again.
I've been married for 12 years- my wife is mostly the same person that she was when I married her but there are changes.
I've changed more, most likely.
I should also say that I don't want to be married to someone who doesn't change- who is stuck being exactly the same person for decades, doing the same stuff. The great thing about spending your life with someone is watching them get interested in other things, some stuff you do together, some you do separately.
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All the best @gubble !
My estranged wife (fckd off one week before Xmas last year, how's that for max bastardness?) has been through half the adult male population of the town she moved back to, bothers me not one bit. Boys do what boys do. Mind, she didn't leave me for a specific bloke, she just decided she didn't want to be a wife and mother any more.
On my bright side, she had the children removed by Police and SS in June, so I have my boys back home with me, in my house, with only my name on the mortgage (try getting your hands on the equity now sweety...), the Police are looking at charging her, the DWP are looking at bringing charges for fraudulent claims for child benefit etc, she's lost her (well paid) job in child protection, and will never be able to work in that area of employment again, I'm going to open child maintenance claim, as she's not paid me a penny for the boys (I paid her when she had them), she's dropped off the map, being unable to be contacted by SS or Police at this time, but also not showing any interest in contact with our children, which suits me. The boys are coping well as they are safe, cared for, and loved.
Money side is tight as I can't get child benefit, and child tax credit as it's suspended due to her fraudulent claiming of it, but that'll sort itself out eventually. Christmas may be grim this year.
It's all likely to get a whole lot worse, and I'll have to bear it all until l can petition for desertion Dec 18th next year. But I'm in a much stronger position than I was before June 14th. And the GF is bloody lush.
Best thoughts though fella.
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Remember kids, choose your sociopath wisely.
Manchester based original indie band Random White:
https://www.facebook.com/RandomWhite
https://twitter.com/randomwhite1
V hard on the children obviously, but they are massively better settled, much better behaved than when we were together (as she was v difficult to live with....) and we'll get through it.
It's also amazed me how I spent 11 years worshipping the ground she walked on, to now not giving any actual fucks if she's alive or dead? And I have thought about that scenario, the only downside I can see is I'd get lumbered with her ever emerging debts as her (still) husband. I think anyway?
Just remaining interested in what she does next. Couldn't make it up.
@jd0272 - if this turns out to be true, please post up. I'm sure you're not seeking charity - but I'd hate to see anyone's kids get a shit christmas - and I'd happily throw a few quid towards a better one (and I'm sure others would too). Season of goodwill and all that!
"You don't know what you've got till the whole thing's gone. The days are dark and the road is long."
They'll be getting much less, but considered gifts appropriate for their ages. A 5 yr old does not need an iPad, and an 8 year old def does not need a flamin iPhone!!! I want them to have a childhood where they understand what it is to play and be creative with their minds. Less is more. So actually, probs not that grim at all. Just 'less' consumerist.