girlfriend break up help

Jimbro66

Roland said:

........As you know, some of our members are prone to trying to out-gross each other with their comments.

Award for understatement of the year

guitarfishbay

Stay strong, the calls will stop. Enjoy the gym.

LuttiS

Well done matey  
Time to enjoy life!

beed84

Yeah well done. Make the most of being single 

Shrews

Yes, well done Mark.   But you must find a way to block her calls/texts. Let her get on with her life, whilst you get on with yours.

And don't let any of her vile words sink into your self-esteem.  Learn to love yourself. All the best. 

Veganic

Can't help thinking that instead of your girlfriend controlling your life you now have an interent forum controlling it.

Good luck. Hope it goes well for you and for her too.  Hopefully you can let her know why at some point - that a whole new moral conundrum. 

Jimbro66

Veganic said:

Can't help thinking that instead of your girlfriend controlling your life you now have an internet forum controlling it.

I see your point but the positive advice here (and it is just advice) is nothing like the controlling behaviour mark123 has described and is wanting to be free of.

Clarky

best wishes matey...

Foster

mark123 said:

hi update 
Thanks to everyone
i do come back on and read this thread again and again ,
the sucess stories of leaving and finding a much better partner have stopped me a few times from ringing her and trying to get back 
Ive had voicemals off her this week (cant find a call blocker that blocks everything??)they have ranged from crying and saying why do i hate her so much? to i am useless a liar and i need to see a shrink !
Many thanks to all, i am doing what you have all said ,playing guitar more, got on top of my house, looks tidy again! looking to join a gym this weekend .
I will keep you all updated but but not every day 
thanks to you all !

Keep at it lad!

Remember with women that they don't care about you as a person, they care about attention. You're doing the right thing by moving on but because you're not contacting her she isn't getting any attention and is lashing out. Don't fall into the trap of messaging her as it'll all be sweet as roses for a short time then she'll flip her lid again.

She's upset that you've got control of your life rather than her controlling you. Stay strong, ignore her. If she starts being a git then tell her, as bluntly as you can, to fuck off. If she persists then get plod on her.

boogieman

Foster said:

mark123 said:

hi update 
Thanks to everyone
i do come back on and read this thread again and again ,
the sucess stories of leaving and finding a much better partner have stopped me a few times from ringing her and trying to get back 
Ive had voicemals off her this week (cant find a call blocker that blocks everything??)they have ranged from crying and saying why do i hate her so much? to i am useless a liar and i need to see a shrink !
Many thanks to all, i am doing what you have all said ,playing guitar more, got on top of my house, looks tidy again! looking to join a gym this weekend .
I will keep you all updated but but not every day 
thanks to you all !

Keep at it lad!

Remember with SOME women that they don't care about you as a person, they care about attention. You're doing the right thing by moving on but because you're not contacting her she isn't getting any attention and is lashing out. Don't fall into the trap of messaging her as it'll all be sweet as roses for a short time then she'll flip her lid again.

She's upset that you've got control of your life rather than her controlling you. Stay strong, ignore her. If she starts being a git then tell her, as bluntly as you can, to fuck off. If she persists then get plod on her.

FTFY. 

Nikc

Well done the calls will stop - Play your guitar get down the gym and go out to local gigs, open mics and blues jams - meet up with people. If your really bored start the dark tower series by Stephen King - it took me around thirty years to read it

Dominic

get on a few dating sites ASAP .......no harm in getting in a bit of practice 

FarleyUK

Dominic said:

get on a few dating sites ASAP .......no harm in getting in a bit of practice 

I'd strongly suggest NOT doing this.

Take the time for YOU - learn new hobbies, and just enjoy your own company to get your confidence and self-esteem up. Enjoy being YOU, before you start looking to date again, or you are potentially going to take a step back.

Just take some time out alone.

Dominic

well...............where a door closes ..a window opens and all that ! Never take relationships too seriously unless it's your children.
Guess that's my insensitive / desensitised inability and lack of emotion to be bothered by these things even when I was young
I blame it on the parents.......boarding school from age of 7 etc, etc 
It's a hard job being my wife ;poor old thing !

Jimbro66

FarleyUK said:

Dominic said:

get on a few dating sites ASAP .......no harm in getting in a bit of practice 

I'd strongly suggest NOT doing this.

Take the time for YOU - learn new hobbies, and just enjoy your own company to get your confidence and self-esteem up. Enjoy being YOU, before you start looking to date again, or you are potentially going to take a step back.

Just take some time out alone.

I'm totally with @FarleyUK on this. After a bad relationship it needs time to get over it. Doing all the things you enjoy for maybe a few months or longer (you can be the best judge) without the complication of a rebound relationship is what I'd advise but it's your life @mark123.

As regards her calls, she needs to vent her anger and frustration so if you block her she'll likely just bad-mouth you to all and sundry. I was continuously bombarded with voicemails and texts from my deranged ex. At first I listened to them but soon found they were always rambling, repetitive and abusive so I just let her continue sending them but deleted them without listening or reading. She tired of getting no response. Getting police involved is unnecessary and frankly just a waste of time -  they won't be interested.

danishbacon

Yeah man. Own it

BBBlues

Yes man well done!

This is the first step. Keep being intentional with what you do with your time.

Recognise your weaknesses and know you will be tempted to go back again in the future. Come up with a game plan of what you might do to combat these moments.

Keep going, you can do it!

ToneControl

how about joining a Spanish speaking class or something?

boogieman

Jimbro66 said:

I'm totally with @FarleyUK on this. After a bad relationship it needs time to get over it. Doing all the things you enjoy for maybe a few months or longer (you can be the best judge) without the complication of a rebound relationship is what I'd advise but it's your life @mark123.

As regards her calls, she needs to vent her anger and frustration so if you block her she'll likely just bad-mouth you to all and sundry. I was continuously bombarded with voicemails and texts from my deranged ex. At first I listened to them but soon found they were always rambling, repetitive and abusive so I just let her continue sending them but deleted them without listening or reading. She tired of getting no response. Getting police involved is unnecessary and frankly just a waste of time -  they won't be interested.

Wish I could give you more than one wisdom here, solid advice well worth taking. 

monquixote

Well done @mark123

You are doing the right thing.