Devastating News

FarleyUK

I don't know you, but my deepest condolences for you - I know how hard it is losing someone you love. Just remember you did everything you could, and that you helped ensure her last days were spent with someone who truly loved her completely, and she knew this.

All the best mate.

joneve

Hope everything went as well as could be expected today Tommy. Thinking of you and the girls today. 

Modulus_Amps

tough day, but I hope you have been overwhelmed by love and affection of her/your loved ones, thinking of you you. Take care

Chuffola

Only just saw the recent news. So sorry for you and the girls.  Thinking about you all.

Clarky

so so sorry matey...
thinking of you Tiggs....

thomasross20

The humanist funeral went very well. For the first time I heard Sheena's 14-verse (in rhyme) eulogy, which was brilliant. She's recorded a video of her saying it herself, so I'll watch that at some point. I did my own speech which went down well - I was shaky right at the end of it but got through it. There were over 100 people for the funeral and I think for the wake, too. We played music she liked at the wake, and took the canvas (of her) & stand from the funeral to the wake. Raised a lot of money (yet to be counted) for Lothian Cat Rescue & Marie Curie. The memory box the girls made (painted green with pictures of cats and Paris on it) is full of notes saying nice things about Sheena. Lots of food and drink. I think the (lovely) service card and my speech is something personal I'll keep to myself - I know I've posted just about everything else on here. And now back to the house to face the quiet.

What a journey since February when I first mentioned our devastating news. My own journey wont end until I see Sheena again, which she hoped wouldn't be for a long time. What she has done since February (and even before then over the last ten years, to be honest) shows what life is all about, how to compose yourself and get things done, how to be a good person and support others. Thank you, Sheena - for everything.

richardhomer

Sounds like you did Sheena proud....

speshul91

I'm glad today went well, im sure she will be sending you plenty of signs in the future to remind you that she is still watching over you.

BRISTOL86

I’m glad it went as well as it possibly could have Tom. You’ve done so much that you need to ensure you now take as long as you need to grieve and take as much time as you can for your own self having been so selfless.

Dexter is very grateful for your efforts to cat rescue!

Alnico

Millie is a rescue cat.
She wants to say "Thank You" as well...

https://i.imgur.com/eVA6LSP.jpg

thomasross20

Sheena would love these cat pictures!  
Thanks, all!

BRISTOL86

Alnico said:

Millie is a rescue cat.
She wants to say "Thank You" as well...

https://i.imgur.com/eVA6LSP.jpg

Beautiful!

ICBM

Remo was a rescue cat too - actually from Lothian Cat Rescue.



Thank you, Sheena.

thomasross20

Aw brilliant!
I'll tally up the funeral donations when I have some time. 
Just been forwarding the multitude of videos she left for family & friends. Letters and gifts, too. 
I opened my build-a-bear from her last night with personalised message - that's right... I have a teddy bear now!

RMJ

I've just caught up with this thread and read the sad news. My sincere condolences to you and your family mate.

I have to say you are an inspiration. I hope I am never in the same position. But if I am I hope I can be as strong as you have been.

sm55onl

Thomas e-mailed me (privately) today to say that Sheena had passed away - God bless her Spirit !

Thomas, sorry, but i hadn’t been following this thread and thus was unaware of the news until you e-mailed earlier today.
However, just e-mail me anytime about anything.

thomasross20

Thank you! 

This is hopefully the only time I'll mention this but... Her son didn't take too kindly to the video he was left. There was good and bad said, but it was all truth and ended with a message of love. He has always had an issue which he was never man enough to resolve, despite Sheena holding out the olive branch. He messaged me saying lots of nasty things about Sheena. So I've set him straight (Sheena can't defend herself so I will) and cut off contact. People said he was coping in his own way but as I said, Sheena knew her son. And so did I. It's not been a good time in that regard.

It's been very lonely. I'm not taking joy out of things like watching films. I'm not playing guitar and I'm glad I never bought an expensive acoustic. Other than looking out for the girls, I don't know what to do with myself. Immediate friends aren't really here. Life is more grey and I can understand how loneliness is a real issue for older people. It's good to have the girls for company when they're here. Still lots and lots to do, not just related to the  estate, messages etc but also regarding care for my now autistic step daughter. It's all good, though. I do that gladly and will uphold my promise to look out for them both. Oh and I got all those photos and videos on Google drive, thank heavens. 

I miss everything about her. The cuddles and companionship, her good looks, our 100% open and honest conversations, going shopping with her, everything.

We raised near £900 for Lothian cat rescue and Marie curie and I might top it up to £1500 plus recurring annual donations. Lots of nice memories of Sheena written on card at the wake and put in the memory box the girls made.

Cheers for now!

sm55onl

Thomas, bear with me a bit...i have updated iPad iOS today and am having some difficulty with e-mails at the mo’. I hope to have it sorted asap.

TTony

thomasross20 said:

It's been very lonely. I'm not taking joy out of things like watching films. I'm not playing guitar and I'm glad I never bought an expensive acoustic. Other than looking out for the girls, I don't know what to do with myself. 

That is all an entirely natural and appropriate emotional response.

Don't beat yourself up about feeling that way - or any way at all - as you've got huge amounts of emotion and stress to deal with and work through.

Probably a good thing that you're feeling like this now, and  facing it all now, rather than bottling it up and having it all explode on you at some future (unexpected) time.  

Gradually the pain will pass.    It might not feel like it right now, but that's the power of time.    The memories will stay forever, but you'll remember the happy times more and the pain of the last few weeks and months will be put into perspective against the years of happiness. 

The smiles will outweigh the  sadness - though I guess she'll always be able to bring a tear to your eye.

Take it easy.

TheOtherDennis

Hey, Tom,

I'm sure this will come across as patronising and glib or even crass, but it's not meant to. I just want to recommend you go get yourself some grief counselling. It will really help you come to terms with what's happened, but even more important, your feelings, and show you that everything you're going through is completely normal.

Take it easy, young man. You're bigger and stronger than you think, you know.