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says i will end up a sad and lonely old man with nothing
Thankfully by ending such a relationship I gave myself a chance to later meet the most wonderful person ever. I would never have met her if I had "settled" for the toxic relationship.
what you are describing happens to a shit tonne of blokes...
Why?....
Coz I've been in a similar situation where I stayed with somebody who I knew I'd never want to be with for the rest of my life. In the end we broke up for good (after several breakups) and I was lonely for about a year until I met someone else.
I'd suggest leaving her for good and finding someone else even if it means a period of loneliness.
It was the best thing that could have happened, for both of us (probably!). It took time, but I became a much more rounded person and she has gone on to be hugely successful (or so I assume - I actually have no idea). I do know she would have been much, much better off without me though!
So I'm in the run away camp. Life is too short, and in my limited experience it was the right call, even if it was a tough pull for me to swallow.
It's domestic violence, albeit psychological harm rather than physical.
The controlling behaviour is, along with things like putting you down infront of others, saying hurtful things etc, all designed to hammer your self esteem and keep going back to the same person because you begin to feel you don't deserve anyone else, or have no one else to turn to.
These people are very clever in seeking out people that they can do this with and who they can isolate completely. Those without family, and they'll seek to further isolate you by forbidding you to see friends so you become completely dependent on them.
You've made the first and most important step in recognising it yourself.
These kinds of relationships only get worse as time goes on, you must make the break, soon, as it get harder the longer it goes on.
Learn from it, learn to recognise the signs and if you're ever in the same situation again you'll know to get out early.
Stay strong, it takes a lot of courage to do it but know you'll be much better off in the long run.
Sounds like you have one issue - her insecurity. Address it. How you do thst is up to you. There are loads of ways.
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Saying it's your fault is classic abusive behaviour.
If it's any comfort there are loads of crazy women out there, so you're bound to find someone new eventually.
End this ‘relationship’ immediately. Gather your thoughts. Play some guitar. Spend some time with your friends and move on.
There is an awful lot of future infront of you no matter what age you are. As a case in point did a wedding last week for a couple well into their 70’s
Get out mate, my ex wife was exactly the same, eventually it ended and I left, broke my heart at the time BUT I was lucky enough to meet a tremendous lass not long after and have been with her ever since.
Life is too too short to have these emotional vampires in it, she will suck the life out of you, you will change and become someone your not and it will NEVER be enough for her, leave now and find yourself again.
Im not a psychologist
I live alone we both have our own homes
my friends have said get out of it
I have never experienced anything like it
If i'm out and don't answer her call i get voicemail accusing me of torturing her, playing mind games with her ,All because i missed her call and didnt reply in 1 hr.
It's not as if i'm out fri/sat/sun every week with the lads ,
one night every 2 sometimes every 3 weeks ,is that really too much to ask ?